Sheldon: I can relate. A young lady brought chaos into my life as well today.
Missy: What happened?
Sheldon: Paige was visiting the university and got mad that I have college friends and she doesn't.
George Sr.: You're drunk, Sheldon has friends. This a crazy-ass dinner.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Sheldon: Paige? Why are you here?
Paige: The lecture.
Sheldon: Well, if you're looking to jump the line, I don't do cutsies.
Paige: No, I'm actually part of the lecture. Professor Patterson is my mentor at U.T.
Sheldon: Really? You're part of the quantum gravity team?
Paige: Yeah, it's actually really interesting. We've been examining all...
Sheldon: I know what it's about. It's why I've been waiting in line for three hours.
Paige: Wow, three hours to see me speak? I didn't know you were such a fan.

Paige: Your neighbors let you hang out with them?
Sheldon: I'm basically the social glue of our floor.

Missy: Meemaw picked me up in her new car.
Meemaw: We drove with the top down. A truck driver honked at us. [chuckles]
Missy: It was awesome.
Meemaw: See? Missy loves my car. I don't know what Dale's problem is.
Missy: You're too good for him anyway.
Mary: Should she really be hearing about all this?
Missy: Mom, she just got dumped. It's what you do. Ooh, is any of his stuff at your house? Let's set it on fire.
Mary: Don't you have homework?
Missy: My grandma's hurting. She needs me.
Mary: Go.