[Georgie and Mandy are making out on his bed in the garage]
Meemaw: [imaginary] Oh, Georgie. I'm so disappointed in you.
[Georgie pulls away from Mandy]
Mandy: Is everything okay?
George Jr.: Yeah. Very okay. [resume kissing]
Meemaw: Tell her before things go too far.
Dale: [imaginary] Would you leave the kid alone? He's just having some fun.
Meemaw: He's lying, and she deserves to know.
Dale: Just let it go.
Meemaw: No. He's feeling guilty, and he's gonna do the right thing.
Dale: Connie, the second that girl's shirt comes off, it's game over.
Meemaw: No. My grandson has more integrity than you're giving him credit...
[Imaginary Meemaw and Dale disappear as Mandy takes her top off]
George Jr.: [o.s.] Amazing.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Pat: Look, you seem like nice folk, but Yankees ain't popular around here. I suggest you be on your way.
Dr. Linkletter: Sorry to have troubled you. Let's go.
Sheldon: Excuse me. My colleagues may be from the North, but for your information, I'm a Texan, born and bred. I know that real chili has no beans, and when my meemaw says, "Bless your heart," she means something very different. Now, my friend here is in need of help, and since our state motto is literally "friendship," may he please use your phone?
Pat: Well, dang. [puts the phone on the bar]
Dr. John Sturgis: And could I trouble you for a yellow pages?
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, boy.

Adult Sheldon: After a quick burial behind the bar, we were back on the road. Dr. Sturgis tried to find some appropriate music for a proper send-off. Three Christian talk shows and a whole lot of static later, he settled on what he declared the Dixieland jazz of West Texas. ["El Son de la Negra / Guadalajara" playing] Mariachi.
Dr. John Sturgis: Vaya con dios, armadillo. Vaya con dios.

Dr. John Sturgis: Societal norms are different on road trips. Normally, I don't eat junk food, but here, it's tradition. I'm not even sure what a chicharron is.
Sheldon: It's the deep-fried skin of a pig.
Dr. John Sturgis: That seems like something they should say on the bag.