George Jr.: When you did the weather, how'd you know if it was gonna rain or not?
Mandy: Oh, I didn't. I just wore something low-cut and read it off a screen.
George Jr.: Nice.

Missy: Do you hate Georgie?
Mandy: No. No, Georgie's a good guy. If anything, I hate myself for making bad decisions.
Missy: Like having sex before marriage?
Mandy: More like having tequila before sex.
Mary: Hey. What's going on here?
Missy: Mandy was just telling me how she got pregnant.
Mandy: No, no...
Missy: But you said...
Mandy: No.
Missy: No.

Mandy: Are you that worried about the massage? You know, you don't have to get one.
George Jr.: It ain't the massage. Well, it's a little the massage. They ain't gonna touch my butt, are they?
Mandy: Oh, yes. I ordered the couples' butt massage. I paid extra for it.
George Jr.: Really?
Mandy: No, dummy.

Meemaw: Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
Mandy: That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
Meemaw: Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store, and I'm not real big on banks.
Mandy: Because you lived through the Depression?
Meemaw: Yeah. [insincere laugh]

Billy Sparks: I've seen this before. They're big now, but they're gonna get small.
Missy: Yeah. It's called Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Billy Sparks: [whispers] If you get scared, I'm here.
Missy: Terrific.

Sheldon: Wil Wheaton plays Wesley Crusher. He's a child prodigy who's very young to be on the bridge of a Galaxy-class starship.
Missy: Okay.
Sheldon: But he's so intelligent that most people come to rely on him.
Missy: Okay.
Sheldon: Sounds kind of familiar, huh?
Missy: Okay.

George Jr.: You know one of the best things about working here? I always smell like dryer sheets.
Mandy: Is that a good thing?
George Jr.: Compared to how I used to smell, yeah.