Meemaw: So, how's it going? Do you have anybody to help you out?
June: Oh, yeah. [picks up pill bottle] These little guys. Elvis was onto something.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Till he keeled over on the toilet.
June: He was the king. That was his throne.
Meemaw: [laughs] Seriously, now, though, if you need anything at all, we are here for you.
Dale: That's right. 100%. [Meemaw slaps Dale]
Meemaw: Would you stop?
Dale: I was being sincere.
Meemaw: Well, that's for the next dumb thing you say.
Dale: Well, just quit hitting me, would you?
Meemaw: Well, quit being stupid.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Adult Sheldon: Engineering has a rich and storied history, dating back to ancient times. Some consider it the single most important field of study... Okay, w-wha... no. Stop. I'm sorry. Howard, I can't do this.
Howard Wolowitz: You asked me to write you an introduction to engineering.
Adult Sheldon: Yes, and if I wanted a comedy routine, I'd have gone to Billy Crystal.
Howard Wolowitz: Just let me read it. [clears throat] Engineering has a rich and storied history dating back to ancient times. Some consider it the single most important field of study known to man, from the wheel to the International Space Station, which I went to.
Adult Sheldon: Honestly, this again?
Howard Wolowitz: Like we don't hear about your Nobel Prize all the time.
Adult Sheldon: It's not my fault people ask about it.
Howard Wolowitz: Because you're always wearing it! You have it on right now.
Adult Sheldon: Look how shiny it is.
Howard Wolowitz: [sighs] Just tell your story.

Howard Wolowitz: Wait, so after all this time, that's your problem with engineering?
Adult Sheldon: Evidently.
Howard Wolowitz: So all the teasing and all the abuse had nothing to do with me?
Adult Sheldon: I'll admit, at first, I had a chip on my shoulder because of that class, but then it was mostly you.
Howard Wolowitz: Unbelievable. When will I learn?
Adult Sheldon: I could give you that answer, but if you figure it out for yourself, it'll mean so much more.
Howard Wolowitz: Goodbye, Sheldon.
Adult Sheldon: Bye.

June: I got to admit, I'm a little jealous.
Meemaw: Of what?
June: You.
Meemaw: Why?
June: You have the Dale I never got. I spent a lot of time polishing that turd, and you get all the benefits.
Meemaw: Hey, I put my time in on that, too.
June: Not as much as me.
Meemaw: When I met him, he was a mess.
June: [laughs] You should've seen where I started.
Meemaw: Well, I think we can both agree, he is one lucky turd.
June: Amen, sister.