[fantasy:]
Conductor: Next stop, Medford.
Sheldon: That won't be necessary. Keep going.
Conductor: But, sir, your family's waiting to board.
Sheldon: I'm aware. Drive on.
Conductor: But, sir...
Sheldon: I don't need them. I'm fine on my own. Do not stop this train. [whistles blowing]

Mary: Let's say grace.
Sheldon: Hang on, safety first. [puts mittens on]
George Jr.: When are you gonna get over that?
Sheldon: I would think recent events would make you value protection.
Mary: Enough.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.

Missy: I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: Yes, I'm being thorough about these things so we don't fight about them down the line.
Missy: What you're doing is dragging this out because you don't want me to leave.
Sheldon: No, I'm not.
Missy: Yes, you are.
Sheldon: Do you know the phrase "pish posh"?
Missy: No, and I don't want to.
Sheldon: It's British, and it's used when someone's opinions are absurd. And you're forcing me to use it. Pish posh! Or, more authentically, [English accent] pish posh!
Missy: I'm done. I know what's mine, and I'm taking it.
Adult Sheldon: One day she said the same thing to her first husband. I like to think I prepared her for that moment.

Adult Sheldon: I've always had a curious affinity for Laundromats. Perhaps it's the rows of mechanical devices dedicated to a cleaner world. Or maybe it's the hypnotic rotation of spinning clothes on their sudsy journey to a fluffy, stain-free future. Mmm, look at 'em. Where was I? Oh, yes. Laundromats. My meemaw also loved them, but for an entirely different reason.
Meemaw: Banana, banana... Whoo! [laughs]
Adult Sheldon: Personally, I don't care for bananas. It's a texture thing.

Sheldon: Fun fact... did you know the knife goes on the right because it was the first utensil, and most people are right-handed?
Missy: Did you know I set the table and no one said thank you?
Sheldon: No one thanked me for my fun fact. You don't hear me complaining.