Meemaw: And there's nothing wrong with breaking some hearts. If you don't do it to them, they're gonna do it to you.
Missy: Why would they do that?
Meemaw: Because sometimes men do things without thinking how it's gonna make you feel.
Missy: Marcus wouldn't do that. We're friends.
Meemaw: That don't mean nothing. You think somebody's your friend, then they just up and leave without a word.
Missy: But Marcus told me.
Meemaw: [mocking] But Marcus told me.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Billy Sparks: Who's Melissa?
Missy: Me.
Billy Sparks: Then who's Missy?
Missy: "Missy" is short for "Melissa." Like how "Billy" is short for "William."
Billy Sparks: I don't understand.
Missy: You know how your real name is William?
Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.
Sheldon: No, we call you Billy, but your real name is William.
Billy Sparks: But my underpants say "Billy" in them. Mom, is my name William?
Brenda Sparks: [sighs] Yeah.
Billy Sparks: Then whose underpants am I wearing?

Sheldon: I may not look it, but I'm the future of physics, so just move on.

Pastor Jeff: Two months! Two months till this baby comes! There's so much I thought I was gonna do in my life.
George Sr.: I'm sure you've done plenty.
Pastor Jeff: Nothing cool. Look at you. You played football and rode a motorcycle.
George Sr.: Well, you save people's souls. That's neat, right?
Pastor Jeff: Oh, it's neat as neat can be, but you know that's not what I'm talking about.
George Sr.: [sighs] Look, being a dad doesn't mean your life is over. It just means it's different. Instead of playing football, I get to coach it now. I mean, high school football. Not college like I'd hoped. I-Instead of a motorcycle, I drive a truck. To work every single day. To pay the bills. [sighs] Oh. Endless bills. What happened to my life?
Pastor Jeff: Orange wedge?