George Jr.: "Have a great summer. Georgie". Normally I'd write, "Have a bitchin' summer", but I figured you wouldn't like that.
Sheldon: I wouldn't.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Meemaw: Look, you haven't even gotten to the worst part of it yet. They're gonna leave home. They're gonna move to another city.
Mary: Oh, Lord.
Meemaw: They're gonna tell you their loser boyfriend has knocked them up. Just to be clear, that would be you.
Mary: Sorry.
Meemaw: Turned my hair gray overnight.
Mary: I said sorry. Clearly, you're not in the mood to help.
Meemaw: Listen, it's hard being a parent, but if you do it right, they don't need you anymore.
Mary: Well, I don't like that. I get it, but I just don't like it.
Meemaw: Well, I'd point out, you'll always have your husband, but you want me to be "helpful".

Sheldon: Well, that's what I heard. And if Hawking doesn't let it stop him, then I can't let this cast stop me.
Missy: Great. Go back to sleep.
Sheldon: I will, and I'll do it all by myself. [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty
Missy: Oh, my God.
Sheldon: Little ball of fur Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr Purr, purr.

Meemaw: What are you looking for?
Sheldon: Chest hairs. Is there any chance I'll hit puberty in the next few weeks?
Meemaw: Oh, God, I hope not. Why?
Sheldon: The campus is so big, I'll never make it from one class to another without a solid dose of testosterone.
Mary: Maybe they'll let you leave early so you'll have time.
Sheldon: But the end of the class is when I point out the teacher's mistakes. Everybody loves that.
Mary: I'd say run across campus, but I know how you feel about sweating.
Sheldon: It's the urine of the skin.