Adult Sheldon: Eventually, my mother relented and returned our things with a few minor adjustments.
Missy: What's The Moosewood Gang?
Mary: They solve mysteries while they learn about God.
Missy: Great.
Adult Sheldon: Georgie got his music back.
George Jr.: [as Jesus Christ Superstar plays] What the hell is this?
Adult Sheldon: And as for college, my mother and father discussed it and decided that ten was too young. So I didn't start till the ripe old age of 11. In the meantime I had the key to one sweet bathroom.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George Sr.: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George Sr.: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster.
For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that.
However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that.
Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that.
But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that.
Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that.
And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

Sheldon: [answering phone] Cooper residence.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis. I'd love to talk to you, but I'm right in the middle of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a good one. Geordi goes missing, but Wesley Crusher has a plan to use neutrinos to locate him, since they'd be visible to Geordi's visor.
Dr. John Sturgis: I was actually calling to speak to your father. But I'm glad you're having fun with your friends.
Sheldon: Hang on. I'll go get him. Dad! Phone call!
Adult Sheldon: Even though Dr. Sturgis was confused, one day, Wesley Crusher really would be my friend. Neat, huh?

Mary: Well, if it's everywhere, how can we fight it?
Pastor Jeff: We may not be able to control the world, but we can control our homes. It's up to us to create an environment where the sin of greed can find no purchase.
Mary: Is that what you've done in your home?
Pastor Jeff: Well, I do make my toast vertically, two slices at a time. Take that, Satan.

Dr. John Sturgis: Here we go.
Adult Sheldon: For many kids, Christmas morning was the most exciting day of the year. That's only because most kids don't know the joy of getting their college midterms back. It also didn't hurt that Dr. Sturgis looked like an elf.
Dr. John Sturgis: Nice work, Sheldon. Now, you'll notice that your grades are lower than expected. That's because Sheldon did so well, he broke the curve, turning your A's and B's into B's and C's.
Sheldon: They don't seem happy about it. Maybe you can give them candy.