Mary: Missy, how was practice?
Missy: So good.
Meemaw: Tell us everything.
Missy: The boys were a little mean at first, but I handled it.
[flashback:]
Missy: Can I warm up with you?
Rick: I don't play baseball with girls.
Missy: Really? Your friend's playing with one.
Luke: Ooh!
[back]
Meemaw: I am so proud of you.

Missy: Eat dirt. Eat it.
Meemaw: Kick his ass!
Missy: Does it taste good? Huh?
Dale: Yeah, listen to your meemaw. Kick his ass!
Missy: You gonna cry? Huh? Do it. Cry.
Mary: Do something. Break it up.
George Sr.: H-Hang on. She's winning.
Mary: Missy! Missy Cooper, you stop beating up that boy!
Meemaw: Punch him in the nuts!

Missy: Someone's Underoos are in a knot.
Sheldon: My Underoos are fitting just fine, thank you.
Missy: Then why is there a stick up your butt?
Sheldon: Stop making inquiries about my bottom.
Missy: But I enjoy it.

[Sheldon sits on the top of the couch with his feet on the cushion]
Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm practicing the philosophy of cynicism... The ancient Greek view that the rules of society should be ignored.
Missy: If you're gonna break rules, you can do better than that.
Sheldon: How?
[Missy pushes Sheldon off the couch]

Adult Sheldon: Thanks to Dr. Sturgis, I had all the intellectual ammunition I needed to bring my opponent to his knees. I accused him of conflating two different interpretations of quantum theory, woefully misrepresenting Paul Dirac, and when I called him a dung beetle in Latin, I was so riled up, I almost started producing testosterone.

Lisa: [modem screeching] What's that noise?
George Jr.: No idea.
Sheldon: Georgie, I need you to get off the phone.
George Jr.: Hang on, Lisa. I'm helping someone with their English homework.
Sheldon: I don't have time for jokes. I need the phone line to connect my modem.
George Jr.: What the hell's a modem?
Sheldon: It links my computer to an interconnected web of other computers in order to facilitate the exchange of ideas.
George Jr.: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
Adult Sheldon: Sadly, that was not the stupidest thing he ever said.

Dale: Hey, Billy! You're supposed to be warming up.
Billy Sparks: I found a worm!