Adult Sheldon: I'd like to tell you a story about a time I was right. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "But, Sheldon, you're never wrong." And you'd be right. But it's worth taking a closer look at this particular incident. Because it began with a loaf of bread, and ended with me and my family almost being kicked out of the United States of America.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George Sr.: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George Sr.: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster.
For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that.
However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that.
Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that.
But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that.
Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that.
And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

Veronica: I thought Dustin was different. I thought he wanted to live a Christian life like me. But all he wanted is what every guy wants.
George Jr.: [SCOFFS] Guys.
Veronica: Oh, please, you're all the same.
George Jr.: Hey. You rejected me, you punched me in the face, and I'm still here. Happy eating waffles with you.
Veronica: Georgie, do you really think you're capable of just being my friend?
George Jr.: That's a good question. My brain says yes.
Veronica: What about the rest of you?
George Jr.: Honestly, I wouldn't trust it.

George Jr.: You sure you want to be seen with me?
Veronica: Oh, please. You're not a commie.
George Jr.: Everyone else seems to think I am.
Veronica: Do you even know what a communist is?
George Jr.: Yeah. It's the big blond guy Rocky fights in Rocky IV. And he also fights them when he's Rambo.
Veronica: [CHUCKLES] That's it?
George Jr.: Well, I know in every movie it looks like the commies are gonna win, but they don't. You ever seen any Rocky movies?
Veronica: Um, I saw Rocky II.
George Jr.: That's the second one.

Mary: See? Happy Hearth Home Bakeries, just like always.
Sheldon: Well, something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Mary: What?
Sheldon: That's Shakespeare, Mom.
Mary: Great.