Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you for agreeing to the early-bird dinner. When I eat too late, the food just sits right here.
Meemaw: Yeah, gettin' old is no party.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I've had this problem since I was ten. When I was in grade school, my nickname was Old Burpy.
Meemaw: Well, I will not be calling you that.
Dr. John Sturgis: You can if you'd like.
Meemaw: I'm good.

Meemaw: Hello?
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that word "hello" wasn't used as a greeting - until the invention of the telephone?
Meemaw: Hi, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: To end a phone call, it was suggested to say, "That is all."
Meemaw: Is that all, John?
Dr. John Sturgis: No, I wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.
Meemaw: Great. Where we going?
Dr. John Sturgis: I can't tell you that. It's a surprise.
Meemaw: You want to give me a clue so I'll know how to dress?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, dress as if you were going to a Mexican restaurant.
Meemaw: Oh, we're going to Puerta Roja.
Dr. John Sturgis: I can't tell you that, it would ruin the surprise.
Meemaw: John, you do realize that I'll be the one driving us there.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fine, we're going to Puerta Roja, but everything else is a surprise. That is all!

Dr. John Sturgis: See, this is why we're great together. You teach me about social etiquette, and I teach you about beaver anuses.
Meemaw: [CHUCKLES] It is magical.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know "ani" is also acceptable as the plural of "anus"?
Meemaw: And the magic continues.

Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that there's a type of vanilla flavoring derived from the anal glands of the North American beaver?
Meemaw: That seems like a fact you could have shared before we started eating.
Dr. John Sturgis: It isn't used very often. I understand it's difficult to, uh, milk the little sacs.
Meemaw: Cool. Okay, new topic.

Paige: You know, I read that adults who had a stunted childhood often become social misfits and weirdos.
Sheldon: You didn't read that, you're making it up like your goat story.
Paige: Psychology Magazine, February issue, 1988.
Sheldon: Well, um, that doesn't make it true.
Paige: Guess you'll find out when you're an adult.
Sheldon: I guess I will.
Adult Sheldon: Well, we know how this story ends. I grew up to become a well-adjusted and charming fellow. But at that moment in time, she had me worried.

Adult Sheldon: And that's how I became the madcap prankster all my friends know and love.

Dr. John Sturgis: I don't think I can do this, Connie.
Meemaw: Of course you can. We're just getting started.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, it's too much information. I can't process it.
Meemaw: It was just a yellow light.
Dr. John Sturgis: Not just the light. There were other cars. There's pedestrians. There was a guy on a bicycle.
Meemaw: So?
Dr. John Sturgis: That's just too many random elements. The- The- The stimuli are overwhelming.