Mary: Oh. Hi.
Audrey: Why do you have the baby?
Mary: Um... It's kind of a long story.
Audrey: Why do you have the baby?
Mary: My mother was arrested, she's in jail.
Audrey: I can't get a straight answer from anybody in this family.

Missy: Are there any other family secrets that I don't know about?
Missy: Um... actually, yes.
Sheldon: Tell me.
Missy: No, you couldn't handle it.
Sheldon: Now I have to know.
Missy: Okay. You ever wonder why Mom made that prayer garden in the back yard?
Sheldon: To pray.
Missy: You're so naive. [whispers] There's a dead body under there.
Sheldon: Whose?
Missy: I've already said too much.

Sheldon: So, if I'm to understand correctly, our meemaw's been running a criminal enterprise.
Missy: Cool, huh?
Sheldon: No, it is most certainly not cool. On the one hand, people need to pay for their crimes. On the other, if Meemaw's in prison, who's gonna smell like Bengay and kiss me on the head?
Missy: She's an old lady, they're not gonna lock her up forever.
Sheldon: I sure hope not.

Dale: Hey there. Alice, isn't it?
Audrey: Audrey.
Dale: Right. What can I do for you, Audrey?
Audrey: I came to visit my granddaughter.
Dale: Not here.
Audrey: Where is she?
Dale: Well, as they say in Canada, she's "oot and aboot."

Mandy: Just so you know, my plans include more than making babies so they can pick on each other. I want a career.
Georgie: I support that.
Mandy: And maybe go back to school.
Georgie: Curveball, but okay. I don't have to go back to school, do I?
Mandy: Oh, no, sweetheart.
Georgie: Thank you.

Georgie: You think CeeCee's gonna be an only child?
Mandy: I don't know. For a while she is. Why?
Georgie: Well, since we're man and wife now, we got to make plans.
Mandy: I'm almost back in my old jeans. This can wait.
Georgie: Well, I'm just saying, I liked having a brother and sister. Don't you like having a brother?
Mandy: Eh.
Georgie: So, y'all didn't get along?
Mandy: I picked on him. I made him cry a lot.
Georgie: That's what I did with Sheldon. Don't you want CeeCee to have that?

Mary: George told me about the arrest.
Dale: Oh. Yeah. Boy, I know how to pick 'em, huh?
Mary: Is she okay?
Dale: Oh, yeah, she's a tough old bird.
Mary: Well, let me take the baby off your hands till the kids come back.
Dale: Well, but we're having such a good time.
Mary: Dale.
Dale: She likes me.
Mary: Dale.
Dale: [sighs] Oh. Fine. You get the baby, I'll grab her Binky. [Mary goes inside] You know, she really does like me.

Dale: [plays guitar and sings] ♪ Met her on the mountain ♪ ♪ There I took her life ♪ ♪ Met her on the mountain ♪ [Cee fusses] ♪ Stabbed her with my knife. ♪ [crying] Yeah, it's kind of a sad one. Yeah. You'll like this one. ♪ Delia, oh, Delia ♪ ♪ Delia all my life ♪ ♪ If I hadn't shot poor Delia. ♪ Here you go. This is for you. ♪ Hey, yeah, baby ♪ ♪ Shake it on down. ♪ [CeeCee coos] That's the one. That's the one.

George: [on the phone] She tried to run? [chuckles] Oh, that... Oh, that makes me so happy.

Missy: What's she in jail for?
Sheldon: I'm not sure. Some kind of room got shut down.
Missy: Oh, the gambling room.
Sheldon: What?
Missy: Yeah, in the back of the laundromat.
Sheldon: Isn't that illegal?
Missy: Yeah, that's why she's in jail.

George: [answers phone] Hey, Dale, what's up? You're kidding. Till Monday?
Missy: What's going on?
George: Shh! Well, is there anything I can do? Yeah, I know a couple lawyers.
Missy: Who needs a lawyer?
Sheldon: [still holding the phone] Meemaw's in jail.
George: Hang up.

George: [phone ringing] Sheldon, phone.
Sheldon: [to himself] 187 IQ and I'm a receptionist. [answers phone] Cooper residence. Hello, Mr.
Ballard. He's here. May I tell him what this is concerning? I may not? Very well. Dad, it's Mr. Ballard.
George: I'll pick it up in here.
Sheldon: [quietly] Which you could've done to begin with.

Officer Gilroy: All right, let's get you to your cell. So, that beautiful little girl is your granddaughter?
Meemaw: Great-granddaughter.
Officer Gilroy: I never locked up a great-grandma before.
Meemaw: Well, isn't this your lucky day?

Dale: Can I give the flight risk a kiss goodbye?
Officer Gilroy: That's up to her.
Meemaw: I'm good.
Dale: She's good.

Meemaw: Oh, my God. Dale, take the baby home.
Dale: Me? Why don't you call Mary?
Meemaw: The last thing I want is for her to know about this.
Officer Gilroy: I'll watch the baby if you like.
Dale: There you go, problem solved.
Meemaw: No. Take the baby.
Dale: [groans] Yeah. Well, is there anything I can bring you?
Meemaw: Yeah, a cake with a file in it.
Officer Gilroy: [laughs] Good one.