Rich: You got a 50-yard radius from the base. It'll beep when you get close to the edge. If you cross it, we get a call. If you tamper with it, we get a call.
Dale: Will it give her a little zap?
Rich: No.
Dale: Well, how's she gonna learn?
Meemaw: Will it beep if I kill him?
Rich: As long as it's within 50 yards, go for it.

Rich: How's that feel?
Meemaw: Unnecessary.
Officer Gilroy: You ran from the police. You're a flight risk.
Dale: She can't run. She got a funky hip. She can barely waddle.
Meemaw: Watch it.

Sheldon: Are you sure there's a body down here?
Missy: Oh, yeah, keep digging.
Adult Sheldon: I'd like to tell you I found something that night, but for once you all might be ahead of me.

Jim: I got you beat. My brother William... [whispers] He's a Democrat. He voted for Mondale.
George: Aw, I'm so sorry.
Jim: Mm. Actually, feels good to talk about it. [Audrey pats Jim's hand]

Jim: Look, a-all I'm saying is every family's got secrets, right?
[Sheldon walks into the kitchen]
George: We sure got some skeletons in the closet.
Mary: We do not. [Sheldon quickly leaves] Other than my mother. [breathes deeply]
George: And?
Mary: [sighs] My cousin Janine is a practicing witch, but that's it.
George: Worships Satan. [Mary sighs heavily]

Jim: Audrey's uncle was a bank robber.
Audrey: Jim!
Jim: He's in Leavenworth.
Audrey: He's my uncle by marriage.

George: Speaking of mysteries, Mary, did you ever find that earring you were looking for? [clears throat] Family heirloom just gone.
Audrey: Maybe her mother stole it.
Mary: [exhales sharply] I am not holding the baby anymore, so you better watch it.

Jim: Mmm, it's good coffee. Is that Folgers?
Mary: Maxwell House.
Jim: Ah, sure. Good to the last drop. Uh, Audrey, am I crazy, or didn't we used to drink Maxwell House?
Audrey: Yes.
Jim: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Why'd we change? [Audrey looks at Jim] It's a mystery. [chuckles]

George: Well, right now it's kind of a standoff. They're eating spaghetti, and Mary's holding the baby hostage.
Jim: All right. What's our play?
George: Well, I figured we'll be dealing with each other for the rest of our lives, so we got to keep things civil.
Jim: I'm with you.
George: [stammers] Let me start by saying, you are a pleasure.
Jim: [chuckles] Oh, back at you.
George: And your daughter is a keeper.
Jim: And your son is a fine young man.
George: Thank you. So, you ready to do this?
Jim: I'm right behind you. [both go inside]
George: Hey, Mare, look who stopped by.

Meemaw: Well, I'll see you Monday.
Dale: Well, they have visiting hours. I can come tomorrow morning.
Meemaw: Not till 1:00.
Dale: Oh, I see. My game's on. So, how about 4:30 or 5:00?
Meemaw: I'll see you Monday.
Dale: All right. See ya. [Meemaw leaves] Well, why does she get pizza? I want pizza.

Meemaw: My chariot awaits.
Dale: Oh. Did you have dinner?
Meemaw: They ordered in some pizza from Del Bonos.
Dale: That sounds good. I had cold spaghetti.

Georgie: Point is, I want to spoil you, so whatever you want.
Mandy: Well, right now, I just want you.
Georgie: Really? Now?
Mandy: Yeah.
Georgie: Hot damn. Just so you know, I promised my dad I'd use condoms.
Mandy: [chuckles] Good.

Georgie: You know, we should really start looking for our own place.
Mandy: You think?
Georgie: I mean, the gambling room's doing great, and since we put in the roulette wheel, we're basically printing money.
Mandy: [sighs] Sure would like to have my own bathroom.
Georgie: [sighs] Your own bathroom, one of them walk-in shoe closets like on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And carpet everywhere, even in the kitchen.
Mandy: That's a terrible idea.
Georgie: 'Cause of spilling and crumbs, sure.

Audrey: I can't believe this. What kind of a family has my daughter married into?
Mary: To be clear, I did not condone any of this.
Audrey: Doesn't matter. This is a criminal environment, and I'm taking the baby. [Sheldon opens a door]
Mary: [gasps] Over my dead body. [Sheldon retreats] CeeCee is my granddaughter, too, and she is perfectly safe here.
Audrey: Well, as long as she's here, I'm here.
Mary: Fine. Are you hungry? I have half a bucket of spaghetti in the fridge.
Audrey: I could eat.
Mary: All right, I'll go heat it up. [takes the stroller]
Audrey: [scoffs] What? You think I'm gonna take the baby and run?
Mary: Yes. Would you like some garlic bread?
Audrey: That sounds nice.

Audrey: A gambling room?
Mary: Yes.
Audrey: And she'd been bribing the authorities?
Mary: I wouldn't use that word, but there were... donations made to the authorities.
Audrey: And Georgie worked there?
Mary: Well, he also runs the laundromat. Very legitimate.
Audrey: For money laundering.
Mary: And regular laundering.