Meemaw: And for future reference, go lighter on the blush, or you'll end up looking like Raggedy Ann.
Missy: She got Raggedy Andy looking like that.
Meemaw: He's her brother.
Missy: Oh. I've been playing with those dolls all wrong.

Meemaw: So when, exactly, did you swipe my makeup?
Missy: While you were at bowling league.
Meemaw: You don't have a key to this house. How'd you get in?
Missy: Can't tell you that. I might need to do it again.
Meemaw: Unbelievable.

Sheldon: Georgie, be a lamb and get me a Yoo-hoo.
George Jr.: Get your own.
Sheldon: Hmm. Are you sure you want to speak to me in that tone of voice?
George Jr.: Sheldon, I'm getting real tired of this.
Sheldon: That's too bad. I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Still waiting on that Yoo-hoo.
George Jr.: You think you're so tough now, I swear, one day I'm-
George Sr.: Hey. What's going on?
George Jr.: Sheldon's being a jerk.
George Sr.: That true?
Sheldon: All I did was ask for a Yoo-hoo.
George Jr.: He's leaving out the part where he-
Sheldon: [CLEARS THROAT]
George Jr.: Forget it.
George Sr.: Great. Done.
Sheldon: Georgie, at the risk of repeating myself... And one from the back, so it's cold.

Mary: She is my daughter and you will be punished.
Meemaw: Sorry, kid.
Missy: I wish I was your daughter.
Mary: Is that so? Well, guess what? You're sleeping here tonight because I don't feel like being around either one of you.
Missy: Great!
Meemaw: Yeah, great.

Missy: I took the makeup from Meemaw's bag.
Mary: Oh, Missy, you are in a world of trouble.
Meemaw: Calm down, it's not that big a deal.
Mary: It is so a big deal! She stole from you, and then she lied about it.
Meemaw: I know, but come on, she's only ten. She's gonna do way stupider stuff when she's older.
Missy: Guaranteed.

Meemaw: Hello. Well, don't you look like Madonna?
Missy: Thank you. I was actually trying to look like you.
Meemaw: Thank you.

Sheldon: What are you watching?
George Jr.: Go away.
Sheldon: Are you angry with me?
George Jr.: I don't want to see your face right now.
Sheldon: Very well, but I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
George Jr.: Did you hear me? Go away.
Sheldon: Well, did you hear me? I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
George Jr.: Too bad.
Sheldon: Interesting. I wonder how my new friend Tommy Clarkson would feel about this.
George Jr.: Well, he's not here, is he?
Sheldon: No, he's not. I guess I'll just have to call him.
George Jr.: You're kidding.
Sheldon: Are you going to put on Professor Proton?
George Jr.: No.
Sheldon: Hmm. [starts dialing]
George Jr.: Okay, okay.
Sheldon: Thank you. I didn't hear a "you're welcome."
George Jr.: Shut up!
Sheldon: We'll work on that.

Mary: What were you even thinking?
Missy: I was thinking I look hot.
Mary: You know you're not allowed to wear makeup.
Missy: That's why I didn't tell you.
Mary: And who gave it to you? Heather B.? Heather M.?
Missy: Meemaw.
Mary: So your grandmother was okay with you looking like this in your school pictures?
Missy: If you don't believe me, ask her.
Mary: Oh, I'm going to.
Missy: Really?

George Jr.: Hey, Tommy. How you doing?
Tommy: You got a problem with him, you got a problem with me.
Sheldon: And just to make his logic clear, you do have a problem with me.

Sheldon: And Tommy's actually nicer than you think.
George Jr.: I told you to stay out of it.
Sheldon: True, but what you didn't tell me was that you were overly chummy with his girlfriend, which is why he wants to kick your bottom.

Sheldon: Good news, I just spoke to Tommy Clarkson.
George Jr.: What? Are you crazy?
Sheldon: Nope, Mom had me tested.

Marcus: All right. Next. Missy Cooper.
Missy: Just a heads-up, this is my good side.
Marcus: Okay. Do your parents know you're wearing that makeup?
Missy: Oh, yeah, my mom knows.
Marcus: You sure? Because typically it's not allowed.
Missy: If you don't believe me, you can ask her.
Marcus: Okay, we're gonna give her a call.
Missy: Really?

Tommy: Your brother's a punk.
Sheldon: I'm not familiar with that terminology.
Tommy: He tried to hit on my girlfriend.
Sheldon: Interesting. So he openly pursued your mate, and to re-assert dominance, you threatened him with physical violence.
Tommy: Hell yeah, I did.
Sheldon: I understand that. I often intimidate people with my intelligence. [A kid walks into the bathroom and backs away] Well, one of us scared him.

Tommy: So Georgie's your brother?
Sheldon: Correct.
Tommy: And you're trying to protect him?
Sheldon: Incorrect. I'm just curious what he did to incur your wrath. Also, kudos on the hand washing.

Tommy: What is your problem?
Sheldon: Oh, I don't have a problem. You should probably wash your hands. I just witnessed an altercation between you and Georgie Cooper.
Tommy: Altercation?
Sheldon: A confrontation, a tussle. Anyway, I'd just like to gather more information for sociological purposes.
Tommy: Oh, I heard about you, you're that smart kid.
Sheldon: I'd like to be humble in this moment, but yes, that's me. Sheldon Cooper, at your service.

Sheldon: Excuse me, sir. When you're done urinating, I'd like to ask you some questions about social dynamics, intimidation, threats, et cetera. Finish up, no hurry.

Sheldon: Who was that?
George Jr.: No one.
Sheldon: Why did he push you?
George Jr.: None of your business.
Sheldon: But that was a clear violation of the student code of conduct. We need to tell on him.
George Jr.: We're not telling on anyone, stay out of it.
Sheldon: But the student code of conduct-
George Jr.: Drop it.
Adult Sheldon: So I did drop it ... for six whole minutes.

Mr. Givens: All right, everyone, we'll pick it up here tomorrow. If we're lucky, we may find a fossil as old as lunch lady Phyllis. You people don't know what's funny.

Adult Sheldon: A fossil is formed when an organism, preserved in sediment, undergoes physical compression over millions of years. Less than one ten-thousandth percent of living organisms will become fossils. Isn't it amazing that something so fragile can defy those odds, only to have this happen to it-
[Tam hits a fossil with a hammer and it breaks into pieces]
Sheldon: I don't think you did that right.

Meemaw: What's that about?
Mary: I'm punishing him.
Meemaw: What for?
Mary: Nothing, really. But once I got started, I couldn't stop.