Mary: How could you not know she was missing?
George: I thought she was giving me the silent treatment. [Mary sighs] You know, teenage girls.
Officer Rodriguez: I don't.
Sheldon: Moody, moody, moody.
George: Sheldon.

Mary: [on the phone] Hi. Linda, this is Mary Cooper. Um, I'm sorry to call out of the blue, but is Missy there with Paige?
Linda: No. Why? What's going on?
Mary: [sighs] Well... Missy has run away, and we thought...
Linda: That my daughter would have something to do with it?
Mary: Oh, no, I'm not accusing her.
Linda: No, that's exactly something she would do. Hold on. Paige.
Mary: [covers phone] I'm thinking she might be with Paige.
Linda: [o.s., on phone] Paige? [opens door] Damn it.

Paige: Hey, maybe we should change our names.
Missy: Really?
Paige: And I hate my name. Paige. What am I, a congressional aide?
Missy: Yeah, totally. So, what name are you gonna pick?
Paige: I'm thinking Ginger.
Missy: That is so good.
Paige: Ginger's not a boring scientist. Ginger's fun. She's alive.
Missy: I'm gonna pick Susan. No, Suzie. Much cuter.
Paige: Ginger and Suzie.
Missy: Ginger and Suzie. Wait, is it too late to change my name to Brandi?
Paige: Too late.
Missy: Come on, Ginger.

Mary: I can't believe the last thing we did was yell at her.
George: Now, don't go blaming yourself.
Mary: Uh, I was blaming both of us.

Missy: Are you taking us to jail?
Officer Larson: No.
Paige: Great, so we can go?
Officer Larson: No. But I'm not taking you in either.
Missy: Why not?
Officer Larson: I got a kid your age. I get it.
Paige: Oh, God, I'd rather sit in jail than have another adult tell me how much they get it.
Missy: Not me. Happy right here.

George: Trust me, Missy's never gonna do anything like this again.
Linda: Aw, bless your heart.
George: I'm serious. School and home, that's it. No TV, no friends, no shoes. Let's see her run away barefoot.
Mary: That's your plan? Make her hate us even more?
George: I'm not trying to be her friend, Mary. I'm trying to be her parent.
Mary: What do you think I'm trying to be?
George: Oh, I don't know. Her neighbor?

Linda: I know it's not my place, but... Barry and I used to keep a bunch of stuff bottled up, and we know how that turned out.
Mary: We're not getting divorced.
George: Yeah, over my dead body.
Mary: Yeah, that's exactly how it's gonna end.
Linda: Oh, boy.

Linda: If y'all want, I can recommend the marriage counselor me and Barry used. [George snorts] What's... [snorts]?
George: Y'all got divorced. [chuckles] How good can he be?
Linda: Well, she... [George snorts]
Mary: Stop with the... [snorts]
George: Oh, like she's not gonna be on your side?
Linda: It's not about sides. She helped us realize we were staying in our marriage for the wrong reasons and it would be better for everyone if we split.
Mary: I'm not sure it was better for Paige.
Linda: Paige's issues have nothing to do with our divorce.
Mary: Sure.
George: [chuckles] How much she have to pay the counselor to tell her that?
Linda: [sighs] At least my daughter didn't steal my truck, and none of my kids are having babies.
George: Okay, we all have our stuff. [Linda snorts]

Missy: Here comes another one. [speed gun beeps] Fifty-eight. How does it know?
Paige: It calculates the speed based on the Doppler shift of the reflected radio waves.
Missy: See? Genius. My brother's like that too, but she's way more fun. [car whooshing] [speed gun beeps] Ninety-one.
Officer Larson: All right, buckle up.
Missy: Yes! [siren wails] Show me how to use your gun and I'll cover you.

Mary: And you are not hanging out with Paige anymore.
Missy: That's not fair. It was my idea, not Paige's.
George: You really think that's helping your case?
Missy: Liked it better when you two weren't talking.
Mary: Well, too bad, 'cause we are.
George: If you're feeling ignored, don't worry. We're gonna be laser-focused on you from now on. [Missy sighs]