Officer Rodriguez: When was the last time you saw your daughter?
George: Uh, well... Hard to say. We just... Lot going on.
Sheldon: Well, at 6:15 she made a plate of food and took it to her room, which I said, "is how you attract ants," and she said to mind my own business, and I said it is my business because her bedroom shares a wall with mine...
Officer Rodriguez: 6:15, got it. No one saw her after that?
Sheldon: Well, at 7:22, she had to use the restroom, but she had to wait because my dad was in there. Probably due to all the beers.
George: Thank you.
Sheldon: Happy to help. And then at 7:45, she tried the bathroom again, and luckily, by then my father had...
George: Sheldon, when was the last time you saw her?
Sheldon: Well, at 9:15 I brought her a can of Raid for the ants, and she told me to go to hell, which is rude. And then at 11:06 I tried to communicate with her via walkie-talkie to no response.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Paige: Hey, can I drive?
Missy: Better not. My dad'll be pretty mad if something happens to his truck.
Paige: Like what, if somebody stole it?
Missy: Oh, my God, I'm a criminal.
Paige: Yeah. It's pretty cool, right?
Missy: I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
Paige: Only if you go back.
Missy: I guess you're right.

Paige: [answers phone] Hello?
Missy: Hey, it's Missy. I stole my dad's truck, I'm running away. Want to come?
Paige: You're running away? Sounds dangerous.
Missy: Oh, um... well, my dad taught me how to drive and...
Paige: I'm messing with you. Come and get me.

Paige: Think your parents are freaking out?
Missy: Probably having a party. And then Sheldon will complain about them having a party, and they'll stop because he gets everything he wants.
Paige: I know. Try being the golden child. Everybody's always expecting big things from you 'cause you're a genius.
Missy: What do you want to do?
Paige: I don't know. Something simple, easy. You know, I heard there's a place in Florida where you can get a job as a mermaid.
Missy: Really?
Paige: Really.
Missy: Don't get mad at me, but you are a genius.
Paige: Just don't tell the other mermaids.