Professor Ericson: The Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu believed it was possible he didn't really know anything because he might just be a butterfly dreaming that he was a philosopher. [Sheldon raises his hand] Yeah.
Sheldon: He wasn't a butterfly.
Professor Ericson: Well, how do you know?
Sheldon: The butterfly brain doesn't contain enough neurons to generate a complex dream. Plus, you referred to him as Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu, and not Chinese butterfly Chuang Tzu.
Professor Ericson: You must be Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: Yes, ma'am.

Mary: If you want, I can ask Missy to hang out with him, make sure things go okay.
Brenda Sparks: Absolutely not.
Mary: Why?
Brenda Sparks: That girl is cute and sassy, and has a real chance at being popular. Do not take that from her. Or me.
Mary: Popularity isn't that important.
Brenda Sparks: It is the most important. Look at us. I'm miserable. You're always worried about something. I'd like one girl around here to win.
Mary: I'm not always worried.
Brenda Sparks: It's Sheldon's first day of college, and you're not freaking out?
Mary: It's on my mind.
Brenda Sparks: Mm.
Mary: But he's been looking forward to this for a long time. I'm sure he's having a wonderful day.

Sheldon: "The statement on the other side of this sign is true."
[Sheldon flips over the sign to read "The statement on the other side of the sign is false."]
Sheldon: Ugh. [knocks]

Georgie: [sings] She's my cherry pie Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise Tastes so good, make a grown man cry Sweet cherry pie, yeah.

Missy: But I want to watch Fresh Prince.
Georgie: Too bad. The game is on.
Missy: There's always a game on. Dad?
George: Sorry, kid, it's the Cowboys.
Missy: But it's the season premiere. Fresh Prince's family gets tickets to the People's Choice Awards. I'm not missing it.

Missy: My show's only 30 minutes. Yours is three hours.
Georgie: But yours don't have them cheerleaders jumping up and down.

[dream sequence:]
Sheldon: Hello?
Rene Descartes: Bonjour, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Bonjour, René Descartes.
Rene Descartes: Please, sit.
Sheldon: I see you're reading a book on philosophy by Aristotle.
Rene Descartes: I am. And it is garbage! Aristotle is, how you say, a punk! [throws book on the fire]
Sheldon: I'm also having trouble with my philosophy professor.
Rene Descartes: Hmm?
Sheldon: She says that we don't know if science is true.
Rene Descartes: Mon dieu! Without science, we know nothing. No different than the dogs and kitties in the street wandering around in a fog of ignorance with the woofings and the meowings.
Sheldon: So how do I get her to understand that science can form true beliefs about reality as it really is?
Rene Descartes: Ah, young man. You are you asking what is the foundation of knowledge, huh?
Sheldon: Yes.
Rene Descartes: Well, hold on to your chapeau.
Sheldon: I'm not wearing a chapeau.
Rene Descartes: It is just an expression.
Sheldon: Sorry.
Rene Descartes: All knowledge must rest on a foundation that we can never doubt and that is...
[Sheldon wakes up:]
Sheldon: Of course.