Richard Feynman: [v.o.] All right, hang on. Where is the fun in finding things out if some joker with a bird head just tells you the answer?
Sheldon: But a grand unified field theory would explain the universe.
Richard Feynman: Answers are all well and good, but a real scientist loves the thrill of the chase. Am I right, Hawking?
Stephen Hawking: [v.o.] I would agree. I do also enjoy the thrill of rolling over bubble wrap with my chair.
Professor Proton: It-it is fun to pop that stuff, isn't it?
Stephen Hawking: So fun.

Sheldon: But what if I never figure it out?
Albert Einstein: I never did and my scientific career is nothing to sneeze at.
Richard Feynman: Same here.
Stephen Hawking: Agreed.
Professor Proton: Uh, don't-don't look at me. I-I drive a Yugo.

Dr. Bowers: So, you don't need to worry about needles 'cause we're gonna put you under for the procedure.
Sheldon: No, thank you. There are risks associated with anesthesia.
Dr. Bowers: Feel free to jump in.
Mary: Are there any other options?
Dr. Bowers: Well, he could stay awake for it, but we'd have to give him novocaine.
Sheldon: No needles. Just pull the tooth.
Sheldon: [exhaling rhythmically]
Dr. Bowers: Okay. Just so you know, I'm gonna be using this.
Sheldon: Drugs, please.

Mary: He is gonna freak out about the pain and the needle and the blood.
Dr. Bowers: Yeah, I wouldn't mention that stuff when you tell him.
Mary: Uh, can't you tell him?
Dr. Bowers: [laughs] I'm not gonna tell him.
Mary: But you're his doctor.
Dr. Bowers: And you're his mommy.
Mary: Which means that I have to deal with him all the time. Help me out here.
Dr. Bowers: No.
Mary: Okay. Can we tell him together?
Dr. Bowers: No.
Mary: All right. What if I put your business card, free of charge, in the next church newsletter?

Mary: Sheldon, lots of people get their teeth pulled. It's not a big deal.
Sheldon: [to Missy] Stop enjoying this.
Missy: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, you're not.
Missy: No, I'm not.

Dale: Hey, Georgie. I'm thinking about taking your meemaw away for this weekend.
Georgie: Okay. You have my blessing.
Dale: Thank you. And I was wondering, maybe, if you'd look after the store while I'm gone.
Georgie: You saying I'm the manager?
Dale: No, I-I'm saying I want you to look after the store while I'm gone.
Georgie: But in a managerial capacity.
Dale: [sighs] You think you can handle it?
Georgie: Yes, sir. I will make you proud.

Meemaw: So, what are you into? Craps, roulette?
Dale: Well, not much of a gambler.
Meemaw: You just left Georgie in charge of your store, so... disagree.
Dale: Mm, he's a lot smarter than you think.
Meemaw: Maybe you're not as smart as I think.
Dale: Well, if you like me just for my body, I'm okay with that.

Dr. Bowers: Okay, Sheldon, we're gonna put the mask on. Now you just breathe normally and count back from 100.
Sheldon: But counting back from 100 isn't complex enough to occupy my mind.
Dr. Bowers: You're up again.
Mary: Why don't you think of something more sciencey? Like counting pi. That's a thing, right? Pi?
Sheldon: I can't count pi, it's an irrational number. But I can embrace the spirit of your proposal and calculate the matrix coefficients necessary for a unified field theory.
Dr. Bowers: Do that. Hit it.
Sheldon: [slurring] Of the four fundamental forces, the most difficult to unify is gravity because...
Dr. Bowers: Oh, thank God.

[fantasy scene:]
Dr. John Sturgis: Step right up. Step right up for your chance to meet Thoth! The Egyptian god of knowledge. He has all the answers. No question too big or small. Hello, young man. Do you have a question you'd like to pose?
Sheldon: I do, but nobody in the history of science has ever been able to answer it.
Dr. John Sturgis: [laughs] Well, they haven't asked the great god Thoth! Right this way! Ask your question.

[fantasy scene:]
Sheldon: Do you really possess all knowledge?
Thoth: You only get one question, kid. You want that to be it?
Sheldon: Oh. No. How can I unify the four fundamental forces of the universe?
Thoth: Now we're talking. In order to unify gravity, you must first understand that it is a distortion of space-time.
[reality:]
Sheldon: [mumbling] Gravity. Of course.
Dr. Bowers: He even talks in his sleep. Why am I not surprised?

Meemaw: 26 for the twins' birthday, three for Georgie and Mary wouldn't like it if I used her birthday for gambling, so 13 for her.
Dale: All right. For my grandson's birthday, I'm gonna go black, 'cause I don't remember.

Dale: You want to go to the bar?
Meemaw: No, we've hit. We gotta ride this out.
Croupier: Double zero.
Meemaw: Ride's over.
Dale: To the bar!

Mary: Look who's awake. How are you feelin'?
Sheldon: I had a dream. I solved a unified field theory.
Mary: Well, good for you.
Sheldon: But I can't remember it.
Mary: Hmm. Well, you were mumblin' something about gravity and forces.
Sheldon: You need to be more specific.
Mary: Shelly, you weren't makin' much sense.
Sheldon: Mother, a unified field theory is the holy grail of physics. Solving it would be the greatest breakthrough in the history of science.
Missy: And you forgot it. That's funny.

Dale: Well, this is my favorite table here.
Meemaw: Well, sure, every time you put down money, you win.
Dale: Oh, this is nice. You know, I really don't get away from the store enough.
Meemaw: How come you're still workin' at your age?
Dale: What do you mean "my age"?
Meemaw: I mean you're old. [laughs]
Dale: I'm not old.
Meemaw: Well, I'm old and you're older than me.
Dale: Yeah, that's true. But we make it look good though.
Meemaw: You don't want to be that guy that just works till he drops dead. I mean, maybe you should retire. Have a little fun.
Dale: Well, I'm here with you.
Meemaw: That's a good start, 'cause I'm fun.
Dale: Oh, man, you sure as hell are.

Dale: Hey, you know what'd be fun? New Orleans is just an hour away from here.
Meemaw: Oh, I like where this is headed.
Dale: And they got themselves a 24-hour wedding chapel.
Meemaw: What? [laughs] No!
Dale: What do you mean "no"? We're good together and we're both old. That's what you said.
Meemaw: We-we haven't even said "I love you" yet!
Dale: All right, fine. I love you. You... you're not gonna say anything back?
Meemaw: Not under these circumstances!
Dale: [mutters] Ah, goddang it. [walks off]
Meemaw: Dale?!