Dale: I-I thought you liked being retired... now you want to be a business owner? It's not as much as fun as I make it look.
Meemaw: Listen, I've been gambling my whole life and losing to the house. This is my chance to be the house.
Dale: You go to prison, I ain't waitin' for you.
Meemaw: You really have the energy to find a new girlfriend?
Dale: I'll wait. [Meemaw chuckles]

Mary: He doesn't have to pay for food.
Sheldon: Meemaw does eat here for free.
George Sr.: That's a separate problem.

Meemaw: Chet's gonna swing by and finalize the deal.
Dale: Wait, he's coming over here?
Meemaw: Yeah. Why?
Dale: Well, this is a very shady transaction. I mean, it should be taking place under a bridge or in a parking lot somewhere.
Meemaw: I'm handing him a cashier's check. He's giving me the keys.
Dale: He's gonna know where you live.
Meemaw: I'm in the phone book. I'm not hard to find.
Dale: Well, what if he grabs the check and just skedaddles out of here?
Meemaw: He's our age. He isn't skedaddling anywhere.

Meemaw: First thing I'm gonna do is get better chairs. If people are comfy, they'll stay longer and spend more.
Dale: Well, what if it's someone's lucky chair?
Meemaw: They're gambling in the back of a Laundromat. Does that sound lucky to you?

George Sr.: Well, you been busy.
Sheldon: Yes.
George Sr.: You get this in here all by yourself?
Sheldon: Yes.
George Sr.: How?
Sheldon: Science.
George Sr.: Well, it looks good.
Sheldon: I know. Now trains will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep, and the first thing I see when I wake up.
George Sr.: Great.
Sheldon: If I stir in the middle of the night, you know what I'll see?
George Sr.: Trains?
Sheldon: Trains.
George Sr.: Well... as long as you're happy.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm happy. [pained smile]

George Sr.: Hey. You might want to check in on Sheldon.
Mary: Is he okay?
George Sr.: Well, he was smiling.
Mary: Smiling how? [George mimics Sheldon's strained grin] Oh, boy.

Mary: [enters] Hey. Dinner's ready.
Sheldon: I'll eat later. I have to finish this.
Mary: I made spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it. I even made sure that every piece is the exact same size.
Sheldon: Some things are more important than the width of a hot dog slice.
Mary: And I wish I'd known that sooner.

Mary: So, you okay?
Sheldon: Why wouldn't I be okay?
Mary: Well, there's a lot of change going on. I know that's not your favorite.
Sheldon: Where is that railroad crossing?
Mary: Would you like to eat in here? I'll make you a plate.
Sheldon: I have to find that sign. It should be in this box. Where is it?

Sheldon: [enters] I can't find my railroad crossing sign.
George Jr.: Hey, how about knocking?
Sheldon: Sorry, I've never had to knock on that door before.
George Jr.: Well, now you do.
Sheldon: [grunts] I need the crossing sign for my train set. Have you seen it?
George Jr.: No, and I've got company coming soon.
Sheldon: Perfect. An extra set of eyes will be helpful.
George Jr.: It's a girl, and you need to get out of here.
Sheldon: I'm not leaving until I find it.
George Jr.: Is this really about some dumb sign, or is about you being scared to have a room to yourself?
Sheldon: That sign has been there for as long as I've had that railroad set. It may seem insignificant to you, but I need it. Everyone only cares about themselves. You're happy because you got the garage, Missy's happy because she has her own room, but no one cares about my problems.
George Jr.: I'll help you look.
Sheldon: Just forget it.

Adult Sheldon: As I struggled, my meemaw began to realize the problem with running a gambling den in the back of a Laundromat was it's still connected to a Laundromat.
Harriet: I put five pairs of undies in here, and now there are four. Your machine ate my undies.
Meemaw: There's a lost and found box right over there in the corner. Just take all you want.
Harriet: I don't want a stranger's undies.
Meemaw: Then let's find your precious undies.

[fantasy:]
Conductor: Next stop, Medford.
Sheldon: That won't be necessary. Keep going.
Conductor: But, sir, your family's waiting to board.
Sheldon: I'm aware. Drive on.
Conductor: But, sir...
Sheldon: I don't need them. I'm fine on my own. Do not stop this train. [whistles blowing]

Dale: So you gonna sell the place?
Meemaw: No.
Dale: Instead of crime boss, you're gonna be a laundry boss. Well, I guess that's just as cool.

Meemaw: I'm gonna open my game room.
Dale: How?
Meemaw: I don't know.
Dale: Move to a new location?
Meemaw: I don't know!
Dale: What about the Laundromat?
Meemaw: Keep asking questions, see what happens.
Dale: Last one.
Meemaw: What?
Dale: How'd you get so pretty?
Meemaw: I hate you.
Dale: I like you.

Adult Sheldon: There were plenty of reasons to be happy my sister moved out. She snored, she teased me. She left her dirty clothes everywhere. Clearly, I was better off without her.
[After Sheldon lays awake looking at the boxes where Missy's bed used to be, he goes and knocks on her bedroom door. Missy opens the door:]
Sheldon: Can I sleep on your floor?
Missy: Come on.

George Sr.: Let's just put this down for a few days.
Missy: Why? 'Cause you don't want to hear him complain?
George Sr.: Bingo.

Adult Sheldon: My brother went to the laundromat, excited to meet the female customer base my meemaw had promised.
[fantasy: a bunch of scantily-clad young woman dance and soap themselves up at the laundromat]
[reality: an older woman shakes out her underwear:]
George Jr.: You said "girls."
Meemaw: They were girls once.
George Jr.: Not in this century.

George Jr.: A secret casino room?
Meemaw: Yeah. The cops shut me down.
George Jr.: That is so cool.
Meemaw: Very cool. I got a room full of slot machines I can't turn on and a room full of washing machines I don't want.

George Sr.: So, how'd it go?
Sheldon: I had Dr. Sturgis present his ideas to Dr. Linkletter like you said.
George Sr.: And?
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: John, I must say, that might be the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
Dr. John Sturgis: [chuckles] Big talk coming from the man who thought the whole thing could be explained with classical field theory.
[present:]
George Sr.: Oh, no. Then what happened?
Sheldon: Well...
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Why on earth would you bring this crackpot into my lab?
[present:]
George Sr.: You didn't mention me, did you?
[flashback:]
Sheldon: Because we're all on Team Science, and don't we want Team Science to win?
[present:]
George Sr.: Okay, good.
Sheldon: But then...
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: "Team Science"?
Dr. Linkletter: And where did you get that bit of clichéd nonsense?
Sheldon: My dad.
[present:]
George Sr.: [exhales]

Missy: What did you say to Billy?
George Sr.: Uh... What did Billy say to you?
Missy: He asked me out. And he said he talked to you about it?
George Sr.: Well, yes, but...
Missy: Why wouldn't you warn me? He asked me out in front of my friends.
George Sr.: I didn't tell him to do it. I-I told him to think about it.
Missy: Well, he thought about it, and then he did it, so thanks a lot. [walks away]
George Sr.: [sighs] Wayne was right.
Missy: [turns back] You told Coach Wilkins?
George Sr.: A little.
Missy: His wife is my teacher. Do you have any idea how bad this is?
George Sr.: I'm putting it together. [Missy huffs angrily] I didn't tell him to do it!

Meemaw: [scraping] 67 years old, scraping Tootsie Roll out of a clothes dryer.
George Jr.: Hey.
Meemaw: What do you want?
George Jr.: I want to help you out.
Meemaw: Oh, I knew you'd come back. Listen, I got most of it, but there's this one chunk in there that won't let go.