George Jr.: Oh, you want me to move this to the bedroom?
Mandy: It's a studio, this is the bedroom.
George Jr.: Oh. [drops mattress on the floor] There you go.
Mandy: How can I ever thank you?
George Jr.: Let's see... we are in the bedroom.
Mandy: What, so, like, take a nap?
George Jr.: [chuckles] Maybe after.
Mandy: Deal. [they kiss]

Missy: Meemaw picked me up in her new car.
Meemaw: We drove with the top down. A truck driver honked at us. [chuckles]
Missy: It was awesome.
Meemaw: See? Missy loves my car. I don't know what Dale's problem is.
Missy: You're too good for him anyway.
Mary: Should she really be hearing about all this?
Missy: Mom, she just got dumped. It's what you do. Ooh, is any of his stuff at your house? Let's set it on fire.
Mary: Don't you have homework?
Missy: My grandma's hurting. She needs me.
Mary: Go.

Mary: [sighs] I appreciate you picking Missy up from school, but she does not need to hear about your love life.
Meemaw: She's got to learn sometime.
Mary: Learn what?
Meemaw: That men suck.
Mary: Not all men... do that.
Meemaw: Suck. Say it.
Mary: No.
Meemaw: I want Missy back.

Mary: Oh, I know that you're hurting, and... I'm here for you, so... what do you need?
Meemaw: Great, take me drinking.
Mary: It is 3:30 in the afternoon.
Meemaw: Yes, it's called happy hour.
Mary: I have to make dinner.
Meemaw: Oh, fine. I'll just be sad and drunk by myself. Maybe I'll go home with the bartender.
Mary: Missy! I have to go out with your meemaw, but I'll be back later with KFC.

George Sr.: I thought you ended things with her.
Dale: Yeah, not my fault she's okay with it.
George Sr.: You know what's better than going on and on about it?
Dale: What's that?
[cut to Dale grunting as he punches a boxing bag in the store:]
George Sr.: Come on, you can do better than that. Punch her new car. [Dale grunts] Don't forget it's yellow.
Dale: I mean, since when are cars yellow? It's not a taxi.
George Sr.: Less talking, more punching.
Dale: Can I at least have some gloves? My hands hurt.
George Sr.: Well, aren't you a tender buttercup.

Paige: You didn't stay for the Q and A.
Sheldon: I had no Q's, and therefore, needed no A's.

Paige: You got a roommate?
Sheldon: No, it's a single.
Paige: I have a chaperone. Mona. She's, like, 30. It's the worst.
Sheldon: Why do you need a chaperone?
Paige: Maybe they think I'm, like, some kind of troublemaker.
Sheldon: As the owner of the face you punched, they're right.

Mandy: Oh, God, is that my yearbook?
George Jr.: Dang, y'all had some big hair.
Mandy: You're gonna talk to me about big hair?
George Jr.: You think it's big now, wait till it gets humid.

Paige: So, did you guys get, like, assigned to look after Sheldon or something?
Darren: No, he ended up in the room next door.
Oscar: So we took him in, like a dog.
Paige: Him being so young isn't, like, weird?
Sheldon: I'm basically 50.
Darren: And we're basically 12, so it all works out.

Mary: You keep saying you're okay. Are you?
Meemaw: I'm better than okay.
Mary: Great. Glad to hear it.
Meemaw: You know what it's like? You see these peanuts? Two of them stuck together in the shell. Trapped. And then, you look here at this one, all on its own. Solo. Happy.
Mary: So, you're a solo peanut?
Meemaw: Mm, damn straight. As a matter of fact... [snaps peanut in half] Enjoy your freedom.
Mary: Well, if you're happy, I'm happy.
Meemaw: I am. Maybe not as happy as this threesome going on here. [holds up peanut]
Mary: Mom.

Mary: Let's just eat.
Sheldon: Without praying?
Mary: [chuckles] How silly of me.
George Sr.: You all right?
Meemaw: Well, she's had a whole beer, so who knows.
Sheldon: Mother.
Mary: Can we just pray? [sighs] Bless us Lord for the food we are about to receive and bless the hands that prepared it. And forgive me for that beer. My mother made me do it. Amen.
Meemaw: Snitch.

Meemaw: And by the way, you can tell your friend Dale that I want my stuff back.
George Sr.: I'm not getting in the middle of this.
Meemaw: 'Cause I left my purple bra over at his place.
Missy: I want a purple bra.
Mary: Oh, Lord.
Meemaw: And if I'm gonna start dating again, I'm gonna need that.
George Sr.: Somebody else needs to talk.
Sheldon: Did you know that Leonard Nimoy takes pictures of...
George Sr.: Georgie?

Meemaw: Georgie ain't here.
Mandy: I came to talk to you.
Meemaw: Could you please take your voice down just a notch?
Mandy: Why? You don't want anyone to hear?
Meemaw: No, I'm a little hungover.
Mandy: [shakes laundry trolley] How could you not tell me he was 17?
Meemaw: Look, I did tell him to tell you before things went too far.
Mandy: Well, they did go too far.
Meemaw: Well, I get it. Men are the worst. I'm going through stuff myself.
Mandy: We are not bonding over this!
Meemaw: Listen. Just calm down.
Mandy: Don't tell me to calm down! And good luck with your hangover. [slams dryer lid] [exits]
Meemaw: Well, that's too bad. I liked her.

Dale: Did you see Connie last night?
George Sr.: Yeah, at dinner.
Dale: She say anything about me?
George Sr.: Please leave me out of this.
Dale: Oh, come on, we're friends, George, and I'm your boss.
George Sr.: She said she wants her bra back.
Dale: Uh, the purple one that opens in the front?
George Sr.: Really don't want to hear about this.
Dale: Well, you're the one that brought it up.

Adult Sheldon: Paige made me realize that maybe I wasn't the loner I thought I was. Maybe I was a social butterfly, or a social animal less horrifying than a butterfly. Get it off the screen. But the point is, I was becoming a people person.
Sheldon: You again?
Paige: Well, hello to you, too.

Meemaw: So... your little girlfriend Mandy came by today, and she is pissed.
George Jr.: This is what I get for telling her.
Meemaw: No, this is what you get for lying to her.
George Jr.: I don't need you yelling at me, too.
Meemaw: Well, she was yelling at me, so now I'm yelling at you.
George Jr.: Just because you're having men problems, please don't take it out on me.
Meemaw: ... All I'm saying is you really messed up.
George Jr.: I apologized. Why are we still talking about this?
Meemaw: Georgie, just think how you'd feel if someday somebody did that to your sister.

Missy: Here you go. There's an article about what your lip gloss flavor says about you. I'm sweet and fun like a strawberry.
Sheldon: I don't care.

Missy: What else you bringing her?
Sheldon: Toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas, and these feminine napkins. Is one box enough?
Missy: Should be plenty.
Sheldon: I hope so. She's been awfully moody.
Missy: Maybe you aren't the best person to be handling this.
Sheldon: Agreed, but I'm all she's got.
Missy: I feel like you should tell Mom.
Sheldon: I promised I wouldn't.
Missy: I know, but this sounds serious.
Sheldon: I got her a toothbrush and lady pads, what more can I do?

Mary: Where you going?
George Sr.: To meet Dale at the bar. [sighs] I really don't want to hear about this relationship anymore.
Mary: At least he talks about it. My mom just wants to drink and pretend she's fine.
George Sr.: That sounds great. Hey, maybe you and I can switch. I'll-I'll finish the dishes, you go hang out with Dale.
Mary: We can't switch.
George Sr.: Sure you can. Grab your coat.

Mary: What time are you home tonight?
George Sr.: Late. I'm working at Ballard's after practice again.
Mary: How long can you keep this up?
George Sr.: Uh, maybe I'll get fired from the high school and only have one job to worry about.
Mandy: I'm sorry.
George Sr.: Me, too.