George Sr.: Hey, Georgie, if you ever find a girlfriend, maybe you can go on a double date with your brother.
Mary: She's not his girlfriend.
George Jr.: And I can find one I'm just not looking.
George Sr.: We gotta get that Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue away from him before he's ruined forever.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Adult Sheldon: As you can see, sometimes a person can be both incredibly intelligent and full of baloney.

Adult Sheldon: Anger is an ugly emotion. Unbridled rage even more so. And when it bubbled up inside me, I channeled it the only way I knew how. I cleaned the house like a man possessed.

Mary: You smoke marijuana?
Sheldon: Mom!
Libby: No, ma'am.
Tam: Just say no. [Mary shoots him an unimpressed look]