George: Hey, it's Dad. How you guys doing?
Missy: We're great.
George: Glad to hear it.
Missy: I'm watching TV, and Sheldon's reading quietly.
George: I knew you could handle this. I'm proud of you.
Missy: You know what? I'm proud of us, too.
George: Okay, baby doll, I'll be home in a couple hours.
Missy: Stay out all night. We got this.
George: Wha- Love you, too.

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: There's going to be a lecture on carbon dating at the Natural Science Museum on Saturday. Who would like to take me?
George: You know what? I'd be happy to.
Meemaw: What happened to helping me at my yard sale?
George: Ooh, is that this Saturday? I'm sorry. I'm taking him to a lecture on, uh what is it? Carbonation?
Sheldon: Carbon dating. A method of determining the age of artifacts and fossils.
George: Hey, we could use that to figure out how old your grandma is.
Sheldon: That won't work. You can't carbon-date something that's alive.
George: Well, then, we'll just chop her down and count the rings.
Meemaw: Oh, George, did my "lump of clay" remark strike a nerve?
George: A little.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: Thanks for waking me up.
Mary: I woke you up 40 minutes ago.
Georgie: Well, you didn't do a very good job.

Mary: Well, I am happy to report that my potato salad is once again the hit of the potluck.
George: That's great, honey.
Mary: I feel bad for Pam Staples. No one's touching her potato salad.
Sheldon: If you feel bad, then why are you smiling?
Meemaw: 'Cause sometimes your mommy's a big ol' hypocrite.

Mary: How are you liking Medford, Selena?
Pastor Jeff: ¿Cómo te gusta Medford?
Selena: Nunca he estado tan aburrido en toda mi vida. [I've never been so bored in my entire life.]
Pastor Jeff: She likes it fine.
Mary: Oh.
Selena: Voy a fumar en el baño. [I'm going to go smoke in the bathroom.]
Pastor Jeff: She needs to use the little girls' room. Mary, could I talk to you for a second?
Mary: Sure.
Pastor Jeff: Don't worry. I'll bring her right back.
George: Wasn't worried, but okay.
Sheldon: His Spanish is terrible. That's not what she said at all.