Meemaw: Look, actually, I'm very happy living with Dale.
Dale: Well, first you're complaining, now you're complimenting?
Meemaw: I can go back to complaining.
Dale: No, no, no. Compliment away.
Meemaw: Fine. I really enjoy living with you, and your... moose lodge decor has come to feel like home.
Dale: Now, is that a compliment or a complaint?
Meemaw: It's a little of both.
Dale: I'll take it.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Meemaw: I know this is hard for everyone. It's certainly hard for me. But no one... is more upset with George's passing than the Lone Star Beer company. That flag is at half-mast. [laughter] On the other hand, there's a lot of cows out there that are breathing a sigh of relief. As the king of brisket has put down his fork and ridden off into the sunset. [laughter] And, uh, I'll tell you something...
Missy: Why are they laughing at Dad?
Georgie: 'Cause they love him.
Meemaw: ...that I always kind of kept to myself, but... I wasn't always a big supporter of George and Mary being an item. As a matter of fact, whenever he came to visit, I would always invite Mary's slutty friend Janice over, hoping to catch his interest. [laughter] Hey, Janice. Thanks for coming. You're a doll. [Dale looks back] Anyway... George only had eyes for Mary. And of course brisket. [laughter] And over the years, he surely earned my respect. He was a good man. [voice breaking] And I will always be proud... to call him my son.

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Mr. Givens: Caltech? Fantastic.
Sheldon: For Caltech? I know.
Mr. Givens: Mm. Well, I'm sure you're gonna do great things.
Sheldon: I hope so. I intend to. I'm being modest. I will.
Mr. Givens: You're taller, but you're still the same.
Sheldon: It's fun, isn't it?
Mr. Givens: Okay. Good luck at Caltech, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I don't believe in luck.
Mr. Givens: Well, here's hoping that a random universe works out in your favor.
Sheldon: Thank you. Bye.
Mr. Givens: Hmm. [to his class] That young man might change the world someday. Or blow it up. Who's to say?

Sheldon: [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw. [knocks three times] Meemaw.
Meemaw: [opens door] Does that mean I have to say hello three times?
Sheldon: No, that would be crazy.
Meemaw: Agreed.

George: It's nothing like that. I got a job offer from Rice.
Georgie: A-Roni?
George: University.
Georgie: You can understand the mistake.