Ms. MacElroy: All right, everybody, my name is Ms. MacElroy. In addition to being your homeroom teacher, I'll be seeing some of you in my English class, and some of you on the volleyball court. Just to give you a little history, I've been here at Medford for 29 years I taught some of your older brothers and sisters, and sadly, some of your parents. Not much I haven't seen. Until today. I'm sure you're well aware we have a student with us, who, despite his young age, is remarkably gifted. And I expect y'all to make him feel welcome.

Ms. MacElroy: That's sweet of you for asking, but I'd rather stick my finger in a pencil sharpener and crank away.

Ms. MacElroy: Tell you what I do. I send him on little errands. Like the other day, I told him, "Go to the supply room and get me a framastan."
Coach Wilkins: What's a "framastan"?
Ms. MacElroy: No such thing. I made it up. He was gone the whole period.
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] I'm using that.
Ms. MacElroy: Don't use "framastan". That's mine.

Ms. MacElroy: Georgie Cooper?
Georgie: Here.
Ms. MacElroy: Sheldon Cooper? Georgie, where's your brother?
Georgie: I don't know.
Ms. MacElroy: Good enough for me.

Adult Sheldon: That was the first time I held my father's hand. I wouldn't touch my brother's hand until seventeen years later, thanks to the invention of Purell.

Mary: You understand that some people are going to be intimidated by you, because of how smart you are?
Sheldon: Or maybe they'll recognize my intellect and make me their leader.

Pastor: In Matthew nine, verse four, Jesus said, "Why would you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?"
Sheldon: Do you have evil thoughts?
Mary: Ssh.
Sheldon: I just don't think this part applies to me.
Mary: That's fine. Be quiet and listen.
Sheldon: I'm only nine years old. Most evil doesn't start till puberty.