["Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" plays]
Missy: Why are you listening to this?
Sheldon: I was upset, and this was the most angst-filled song I could find in Mom's record collection.

Sheldon: Missy and I broke a lot of rules the other night, and we've received no punishment.
George: [sighs] Buddy, it's been a rough week. We're just glad you're both safe.
Sheldon: But in the absence of a divine being, society's rules are what keeps a person's morality in check.
George: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: No, y-you're not following me. If actions have no repercussions, society breaks down, everything devolves into chaos.
George: You might be overthinking this.
Sheldon: I thought so, too. Then I thought about it, and I'm not.
George: Sheldon, you had one bad night. Just let it go.
Sheldon: But... I did something wrong and I got away with it. That's not okay.
George: Buddy...
Sheldon: Socrates maintained that the man who lies to himself has an enemy living within. He's not even a person. He's just a chaos of selfish desires wrapped in an animal hide.

Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Dr. John Sturgis: Actually, Sheldon, I do have some news. I reached out to a colleague who's doing a summer research program at the University of Heidelberg, and I think I can get you in.
Sheldon: Heidelberg, Germany?
Dr. Linkletter: A summer program 5,000 miles away. Only a fool would say no to that.
Sheldon: Well, that would certainly help my grad school applications.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, and they're doing exciting work on superstrings.
Sheldon: Fantastisch. That's German for "fantastic."
Dr. Linkletter: Ich helfe dir beim packen. That's German for "I'll help you pack."

Sheldon: Hold on, should I be trying to beef up my grad school applications?
Dr. John Sturgis: The competition is fierce. It takes a lot to stand out.
Sheldon: You're my advisors, why didn't you advise me of this?
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, if I could offer you some advice...
Sheldon: No thank you.
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I have a recommendation for you.
Sheldon: I have one for you. Trim your nose hair.
[present:]
Dr. Linkletter: Do you remember that?
Sheldon: I do. It looked like a spider was living up there.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Yes, is this the Columbia summer science honors program? Excellent. My name is Sheldon Cooper, perhaps you've heard of me. Well, now you have. Anyways, it's recently come to my attention that you could be an important step in my career advancement. So, good news, I'm available. Yes, I understand I've missed the deadline, but I'm sure you can make an exception. [emotional] But I'm Sheldon Cooper.