Meemaw: How's your sex cramp, old man?
Dale: Athletes get cramps all the time. It comes from dehydration, overexertion.
Meemaw: I'll give you the dehydration, but I didn't see any overexertion, though.
Dale: Why, Connie?
Meemaw: 'Cause it's fun.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George Sr.: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Adult Sheldon: Many cultures throughout the world relied on percussion to send messages across long distances. For example, the West African dundun was used to imitate human speech... [loud music playing] ...while I used my fist, the wall of my dorm, and Morse code to send a message.

Bobby: [opens door] Yeah?
Sheldon: I'm here to talk to you about your music and your abysmal Morse code skills.
Bobby: What?
Sheldon: Four dots is just the letter "H." Was your message "Huh"?
Bobby: What?

Sheldon: Paige?
Paige: Sheldon?
Bobby: You know him?
Paige: Yeah, no, we go way back.
Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Paige: Would you believe me if I told you I was working on a femtosecond laser in the engineering department?
Sheldon: Yes.
Paige: Then that.