Episode Recap
Adult Sheldon explains how many cultures use percussion to send messages across long distances. Sheldon relied on his fist, his wall and Morse code to send a message. After Sheldon knocks on the wall, he is confused by the four knocks he gets in response - that’s just the letter H. When Sheldon goes to the adjoining dorm, Sheldon tells a puzzled Bobby about his confusion over the Morse code message. Sheldon is surprised to spot his old friend, Paige, at the party. As Sheldon asks what she’s doing there, Paige wonders if he’d believe she was “working on a femtosecond laser in the engineering department”? Sheldon does. When Sheldon tries to point out Paige isn’t old enough to drink, she goes out into the corridor to talk to him. Paige asks him to leave her alone, saying she’s just trying to have fun and doesn’t want them to know how old she is. As Sheldon tries to tell the partygoers Paige’s true age, she cuts him off and say she hasn’t had dinner yet. Paige and Sheldon, who always carries an emergency $20 and four quarters for the phone, set off down the corridor in search of food.
At Meemaw’s house, she and and Dale are watching TV. Dale is laughing uproariously at Dinosaurs, but Meemaw doesn’t get it. When Mandy arrives home from work, Meemaw is hopeful she has a movie they can watch. After Mandy says she’s got Tootsie, Dale questions whether they’re supposed to believe Dustin Hoffman is a woman. “But we believe talking dinosaurs?”, Meemaw asks. Dale argues it’s kind of late to start a movie, but Meemaw tells him it’s 8:00. “We’re saying the same thing.”, Dale insists. When Meemaw asks if he wants to go home, Dale isn’t sure he wants to spend a second night in a row there. After Meemaw tells him to go home then, Dale insists he’s okay staying but he knows she’s the independent one. An exasperated Meemaw tells him to stay if he wants to or go home if he wants to. “Fine.”, Dale says, “I'll stay if you're gonna beg.”
As Sheldon and Paige walk across campus, he asks her if she’s still inebriated or if can they have an intelligent conversation. “Both”, Paige responds. Sheldon points out alcohol kills brain cells, but Paige argues it also makes life more tolerable. Sheldon doesn’t understand. Paige admits she has no friends, doesn’t fit in anywhere, she dropped out of college but she’s too young to get a job, so killing brain cells makes it easier. “Huh”, Sheldon says. “Go ahead, smart guy, fix me.”, Paige tells Sheldon. A stumped Sheldon asks Paige to give him a minute.
Back at Meemaw’s, as they watch Tootsie, Dale wonders why people can’t see it’s Dustin Hoffman. After Meemaw says she buys it, Dale wonders if he put on a wig and lipstick, would she think he’s a woman. “Only one way to find out.”, Meemaw says with a chuckle. “Nice try.”, Dale responds. Meemaw admits Dale does have nice legs, though. Dale offers to let her touch his legs if they pause the movie. “Lucky me”, she says.
As Paige and Sheldon eat at a diner, Sheldon figures Paige hasn’t taken the DARE pledge. She’s not familiar with it, so Sheldon explains it’s an acronym, “DARE: Drug Abuse Resistance Education”. It’s not too late for Paige to take it, he says. “I promise not to do drugs, to avoid violence, to be responsible, and to make responsible choices.”, Sheldon recites. After Paige says no, Sheldon “dares” her. “Clever, right?”, he asks. After Paige notices some frat boys walking out with a stack of pizzas, she asks if they’re going to a party. “Gamma Kappa house”, the frat boy tells her. Sheldon continues talking about the DARE program, mentioning a visit from a drug-sniffing dog, Alfie. “Which I didn't care for,” Sheldon admits, “but it was nice to see a dog gainfully employed and off the streets."”
At Meemaw’s house, as Mandy tries to read a magazine in bed, she overhears Meemaw and Dale in the bedroom. Meemaw complains that Dale has kept his socks on, but he says his feet get cold. As Meemaw argues it shows a lack of commitment, Mandy tries to focus on her magazine. After Dale relents and takes his socks off, Meemaw questions when he last cut his toenails. “Seriously, you look like something that could swoop down and pick up a squirrel.”, Meemaw tells Dale, prompting Mandy to gag.
As George, Mary and Georgie watch TV in the den, Mandy comes over and knocks on the back door. After Mary invites Mandy in, George jokingly asks if she needs a break from Connie. After Mandy explains she’s trying to give Meemaw and Dale some privacy, George and Mary are grossed out. Georgie isn’t sure why until Mandy looks at him. “Oh, nasty”, Georgie says before checking his suspicion is correct, “Sex, right?” After Mary tells Mandy that Missy is at a sleepover so she can sleep here tonight if she wants, Mandy says she might take them up on that offer. Georgie says she’s safe here as his parents never do anything.
When Sheldon and Paige arrive at the frat house, Sheldon wonders what they’re doing there. Paige explains it’s a party. Sheldon points out they weren’t invited and he didn’t even bring a gift, so Paige says he should go home then. As Paige heads inside, Sheldon thinks this is dangerous. Adult Sheldon explains, “There I stood, the classic hero outside the dragon's cave. Should I risk life and limb to save the maiden? My every instinct said no. But I drank a lot of root beer and really had to go pee-pee.” With that, Sheldon rushes after Paige.
Inside the frat house, Sheldon declares that hell does exist. As Sheldon asks a frat boy where the bathroom is, another frat boy notices Sheldon and announces that “Pee-wee Herman is at their party”. As everyone starts chanting “Pee-wee! Pee-wee!”, Sheldon complains that the hell continues. Sheldon makes it upstairs in time to see someone emerge from the bathroom, only for someone else to walk in. “Oh, boy. New hell.”, Sheldon says as he sees the lengthy queue for the bathroom.
In Meemaw’s bed, as Dale cries out in pain, she wonders what’s going on. “Charley horse. Charley horse.”, Dale screams as he holds up his cramping leg. As Meemaw wonders what to do, Dale says “Rub it.” Meemaw jokes that that’s kind of how they got in this trouble in the first place, but Dale doesn’t think that’s funny. When Mandy arrives back and starts walking up the stairs, she overhears Dale shouting “Rub harder. Harder.” and Meemaw respond “I'm rubbing as hard as I can.” As Dale encourages Meemaw to “use her elbow”, Mandy turns around and declares she doesn’t need her toothbrush after all.
At the frat house, Adult Sheldon reflects, "This night of depravity reduced me to urinating on a tree like a forest animal. How much worse could it get?” As Sheldon walks back inside, a frat boy spots him and shouts, "Pee-wee's back!" The chants of "Pee-wee!" resume. Searching for Paige, Sheldon approaches a guy, who ignores him and continues kissing a girl. When Sheldon stops another girl, he's stunned to see Missy. They simultaneously ask, "What are you doing here?" and "Do Mom and Dad know you're here?" Sheldon lets Missy explain first. She reveals that Heather's sister attends the college and invited them. After Sheldon admits he's looking after Paige, Missy asks "Where is she?". "Well, I didn't say I was doing a great job.", Sheldon concedes.
When Mandy returns to the Cooper house empty-handed, Georgie wonders where her toothbrush is. “I don’t want to talk about it.”, a shaken Mandy says. When the phone unexpectedly rings, George answers the call. As George asks if everything is okay, Mary wonders who is calling. Heather’s mom, George explains. “Is everything okay?”, Mary asks. George points out he just asked that. “No, Heather's not here.”, George says, “They're at your house. Huh.” As Mary asks what’s going on, George explains that Heather told her mom she was staying here. “Classic”, Mandy says with a chuckle.
Back at the frat house, Missy is shocked to learn Paige is drunk. Sheldon adds that she's also high on what Officer McDaniels called "Mary Jane, reefer, and ganja." When Missy asks if Paige is okay, Sheldon replies that she isn't - Paige said her life is terrible. Missy can't hear him over the noise, so Sheldon repeats himself, but to no avail. Frustrated, Sheldon marches over and unplugs the stereo. Everyone turns to look at Sheldon as he shouts "Her life is terrible." Sheldon and Missy are promptly thrown out of the frat house.
In Meemaw’s bedroom, Dale groans as he walks by the bed. “How’s your sex cramp, old man?”, Meemaw asks. Dale argues athletes get cramp all the time, it’s caused by dehydration and over-exertion. Meemaw will give him the dehydration, but she didn’t see any over-exertion. As Meemaw chuckles, Dale asks why she has to make jokes about this. “'Cause it's fun.”, Meemaw says. Dale insists he’ll be ready to go in a minute, but Meemaw suggests calling it a night and going to sleep. Dale says that’s fine by him, but he wants it noted that she’s the one calling it, not him. “Yep.”, Meemaw says. Dale repeats that he’s good to go. “I'm sure you are.”, she tells him. “Damn tootin'.”, Dale says before groaning as he awkwardly slumps onto the bed.
Back at the Coopers’ house, Mandy admits she once used the same trick to go to a party. George and Mary are more concerned than ever, so George decides to go out and find his daughter, saying he’ll drive around until he hears “some carousing”. After Georgie offers to go with his father, Mary tells them to stop. There’s nothing to do but wait, she says. “Fine”, George says as he relents and sits back down. “Nope”, George says as he stands back up a moment later. Georgie and his father head out.
Outside the frat house, Missy wonders what they should do. Sheldon says they can’t leave as Paige is still in there. After Missy asks whether they should call their mom, Sheldon explains he does have four quarters for that exact reason. When Missy spots Paige walking by with a college boy, they stop Paige to ask what she’s doing. Paige says she and Bradley are heading to another party. Sheldon can’t understand why they would go to another party given it’s 9:00. After Missy asks Bradley if he knows how old Paige is, he claims she said she was 18. “Lower”, Missy tells him. “Sixteen?”, he asks. “Lower”, Missy repeats. Bradley quickly excuses himself and makes a hasty exit. Paige sarcastically thanks Missy for scaring him off, then takes off running. As Missy chases after her, Sheldon complains that they’re running again.
As George drives around looking for Missy with Georgie, Georgie says his daughter is never going to put him through this. “Oh, really? How you figure?”, George asks. “I'm gonna run a tight ship. Set some rules, some boundaries.”, Georgie tells his father. “If she breaks them, then she faces the... Oh, what do you call it? Repercussions.” George snickers, and says he can’t wait until Georgie’s a dad. “Thank you”, an oblivious Georgie says to him. "Repercussions", George repeats. “It's a word. Look it up.”, Georgie tells his dad.
Sheldon and Missy catch up to Paige as she vomits in a fountain. “Oh dear”, Sheldon says as he takes off one of his sensible shoes. He’s going to have the mother all blisters. After Missy tells Paige she’s worried about her, Paige insists she was just having fun. Missy points out Paige is drunk and was about to get into a car with a stranger. “So? He was cute”, Paige argues. Missy points out Paige is smarter than Sheldon, so why isn’t she acting like it? Sheldon quibbles with that, pointing out his pizza is still in his stomach while Paige’s is in the fountain. Paige wonders what good being smart is if you’re all alone. Missy offers to take Paige back to Sheldon’s dorm to clean her up. As they walk back to the college, Missy tells Paige she’s not all alone, she’s got her.
As Mandy and Mary drink in the kitchen, Mandy tells Mary that Missy is a good kid, she’s sure she’s all right. Mary says she was a good kid, but it didn’t stop her getting into trouble. Mandy chuckles and is about to recall one incident at a party, before thinking the better of it. Mary says you want your kids to have an easier time of it. Mandy notes that her baby’s gonna have a “broke single mom and a teenage dad”. Meanwhile, as George drives around, Georgie tells his father one good thing is he gets to learn from his parenting mistakes. “I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.”, George jokes. “Like that”, Georgie says. He’d never say something so awful to his kid. “Thanks, big guy.”
Over at Meemaw’s, she asks Dale if he’s awake. She’s been thinking that they don’t have to spend every night together. “You're preaching to the choir there, Connie.”, he tells her. Dale has been lying awake for the last hour wishing he was in his own bed. “Everything's the way I like it there. Got a TV in the bedroom and leave the seat up on the toilet. And thermostat's not set to storing meat.”, Dale says. “So I'll spend tomorrow night at my place”, he tells her. “Yep”, Meemaw confirms. After Dale says “Oh, thank God”, an offended Meemaw gets up to crank the air conditioning up even more.
In Sheldon’s dorm room, Missy puts Paige to bed and tells Sheldon she put a trash can by the bed in case Paige gets sick. After Sheldon wonders where he’s supposed to sleep, Missy tells him on the floor. Missy wants to get their stories straight about where she was tonight. Sheldon insists there’s only one story and it’s straight: you were here. Missy tells Sheldon she was at Heather’s and he didn’t see her. Missy says she’ll “owe him one” if he lies for her. “One what?”, Sheldon wonders. “One anything”, Missy replies. Sheldon thinks that’s too vague and wants to draw up a contract, but Missy doesn’t have time for that. Missy tells Sheldon that going to a college frat party and having a drunk girl pass out on his bed is the coolest college story he’ll ever get to tell. “So I can tell Mom?”, Sheldon queries. In thirty years when they can laugh about it, Missy tells her brother. “30 years later, still not laughing.”, Adult Sheldon admits.
In the middle of the night, Mary is surprised to find George sitting on the porch. He can’t sleep not knowing where Missy is. After Mary sits down and cuddles upto George, he asks if they’re on the same page. “When she does show up, I'm gonna kill her.”, George jokes. Mary adds that he’ll have to beat her to it. “Not saying I love her the most, but if anything happened to Missy…”, George says, trailing off. Mary points out she is his little girl, but George concedes she’s not so little anymore. After Mary points out George is going to have a granddaughter soon, George tells Mary that he had an idea… before repeating Georgie’s idea of tracking his kid like they do with dolphins.
The next morning, George and Mary look exhausted as they sit at the kitchen table with cups of coffee. “I’m home”, Missy calls as she comes in the front door. Missy walks into the kitchen and says hey. “Hey to you”, Mary replies before asking how Heather’s was. “Uh, fun. Pizza, movies... The usual.”, Missy claims. After Missy remarks that her father looks tired, George admits he didn’t sleep too well. “Oh. Sorry.”, Missy tells him before saying she’s going to her room. After Missy walks off, Mary asks her husband what happened to killing her. George says he’ll get to it. He’s just relieved she’s home. George takes another sip of coffee and declares, “Okay, I’m good.” George stands up and shouts “Missy!” as he heads to her room. “Wait for me!”, Mary says as she follows.
