Pastor Rob: Coach Wilkins invited me to pray with the kids before the game.
George: Oh. And... why?
Coach Wilkins: Can't hurt to have a little extra help from the big man upstairs.

George: Great practice. Let's gather round, take a knee. All right, Coach. They're all yours.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you, George. Look at you guys. Young, strong, all your hopes and dreams in front of you. None of you have any idea of what's out there waiting for you.
George: Wayne, where you going with it?
Coach Wilkins: A team requires trust. Sure, you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped. But can you count on them when they're away at a teachers conference with the woman you were gonna spend your life with? Hmm?
George: Okay. "Team" on three.

Coach Wilkins: You ever tell him you're proud?
George: He knows.
Coach Wilkins: I think it's important for children to hear it.
George: You don't even have kids.
Coach Wilkins: I teach and coach teenage boys. I also put up with your childish nonsense.
George: Georgie's just being so damn disrespectful, I don't want to reward that.
Coach Wilkins: All right.
George: My father never said he was proud of me. I turned out just fine.
Coach Wilkins: George, I'm just trying to have a nice day, make some white folks uncomfortable. Can you please?

George: Do you have any women friends?
Coach Wilkins: Uh-oh. Mary finally wise up and kick you to the curb?
George: I'm being serious.
Coach Wilkins: I have plenty of women friends. Matter of fact, my best friend's a woman.
George: Are you gonna say your wife?
Coach Wilkins: You know I am. She got in the shower with me this morning.
George: I don't need to hear that.
Coach Wilkins: How could something be so clean and so dirty at the same time?
George: I'm sorry I asked.
Coach Wilkins: Are you upset 'cause I said she was my best friend and not you?
George: No.
Coach Wilkins: You're in the top three.
George: Stop talking to me.
Coach Wilkins: Definitely my best white friend.

Sheldon: No one will even listen to my ideas. I'm being discriminated against because I'm too young.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry to hear that.
Sheldon: I can't wait till I'm your age and people treat me with respect and reverence.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sometimes older people get discriminated against, too.
Sheldon: For what? Getting smaller and cuter year after year? Look at you.

Sheldon: Good morning. I'm Sheldon Cooper. Thank you for taking the time to hear my proposal. I have some handouts.
Mr. Anderson: I-I'm sorry, who are you?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm... Sheldon Cooper. I'm here to pitch my idea for a grant computer database.
Mr. Anderson: How old are you?
Sheldon: When you hear my presentation, I believe you'll realize my age is irrelevant.
Mr. Anderson: So there's no adult with you?
Sheldon: Well, my mom drove me here, but I told her to wait in the car.
Mr. Anderson: Is this a joke?
Sheldon: I assure you, it's not. When I make jokes, I follow them with a "bazinga" so it's clear. Like this: "Bazinga."

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, sometimes people assume, because of my age, that I'm out of touch, that I, uh, don't know how to use new technologies, that I, uh... Hold on, there's a third one.