Nelson: Don't you have Die Hard?
Mandy: Not anymore.
Nelson: Why?
Meemaw: It had that bad word in it.
Nelson: What?
Meemaw: "Yippee-ki-yay," etcetera.
Nelson: This store sucks.
Mandy: We know.
Meemaw: Maybe you'd like The Singing Nun.
Nelson: Nope.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George: So, we were talking to the lawyer...
Missy: Here comes the divorce.
Mary: We are not getting divorced.
Missy: Then why do we have a lawyer?
George: Sheldon invented something that the university's interested in and it could be worth some money.
Missy: You always were my favorite brother.
Sheldon: This morning you licked your finger and put it in my ear.
Missy: That means I like you.

Georgie: Dang, it's busy in here for a weekday.
Meemaw: Social Security checks landed.
Georgie: Hm. Getting paid just to be old... must be nice.
Meemaw: I ain't complaining.

Mrs. Howard: I can't believe you would rent this filth.
Mandy: It's not filth. It's Basic Instinct.
Mrs. Howard: Well, my husband was watching it and there was a woman in there who showed her hoo-ha.
Georgie: Yeah, she does.
Mandy: Come on, I mean, you don't see the whole thing. At most, you see a "hoo."
Georgie: If you see the "hoo," the "ha's" right there.