Mary: What can we help you with?
Jim: Oh, well, uh, I got some money here, and I was just hoping y'all could give it to Mandy.
Mary: She's just right across the street at my mom's. You could give it to her yourself.
Jim: Oh, no, I couldn't do that and stay married.
George Sr.: Sounds like we got the same wife.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: [laughs] Just trying to lighten the mood, honey. I-I'll make sure she gets it.
Jim: Thank you.
Mary: I'm sure your wife will come around eventually.
Jim: Well, I'm hoping that when she sees the baby, that ice cube in her chest might start to melt.
George Sr.: Yep, same wife. Come on, it's funny.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: There's going to be a lecture on carbon dating at the Natural Science Museum on Saturday. Who would like to take me?
George Sr.: You know what? I'd be happy to.
Meemaw: What happened to helping me at my yard sale?
George Sr.: Ooh, is that this Saturday? I'm sorry. I'm taking him to a lecture on, uh what is it? Carbonation?
Sheldon: Carbon dating. A method of determining the age of artifacts and fossils.
George Sr.: Hey, we could use that to figure out how old your grandma is.
Sheldon: That won't work. You can't carbon-date something that's alive.
George Sr.: Well, then, we'll just chop her down and count the rings.
Meemaw: Oh, George, did my "lump of clay" remark strike a nerve?
George Sr.: A little.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

George Jr.: Were you mad at Mom for getting pregnant?
Meemaw: Oh, yeah.
George Jr.: Did you stop talking to her?
Meemaw: Hell no, I wanted her to hear how pissed off I was. But all that being mad at her just was a waste of time.
George Jr.: What made you come around?
Meemaw: I guess you showing up.
George Jr.: I do have a natural charm, don't I?
Meemaw: You did, and then you learned to talk.

Adult Sheldon: In the world of collecting, I'm what's known as a completist. For example, I own every gauge of model train from the mighty "G," to the tiny "T." Look at how cute it is, I just want to eat it up. However, the downside of being a completist is when something's missing, it's like an itch you can't scratch, even if you own a complete set of Justice League back scratchers... which I do. In this case that itch was the comic book issue Doom Patrol and Suicide Squad Special #1.

Sheldon: What do you mean, you sold it?
Missy: Somebody gave me money, and I gave them the comic book. That's kind of how things work here.