Missy: I told Heather that I liked Kevin so she could find out if he liked me back. Then she asked him out.
Meemaw: What?
Missy: She didn't even think he was cute until I said I liked him.
Mandy: Well, why'd you tell her?
Missy: She told me to.
Meemaw: 'Cause that's how you find out if somebody likes you in school.
Mandy: That's o-one way.
Missy: Why? What would you have done?
Mandy: Uh, well, you put him on Heather's radar when you said you liked him. I probably would have dropped a note in his locker or asked one of his guy friends.
Missy: That makes so much more sense. Why didn't you tell me that?
Meemaw: I gave you good advice. It's not my fault Heather sucks.
Missy: [scoffs] So what do I do now?
Meemaw: Well, the first thing...
Missy: I was talking to her.

Mary: Missy, if you want a minute with Dad before they close the casket, now's the time. [Missy looks unsure] It's okay if you don't.
Mary: I have to. [Missy stands up and walks up to her father's casket]
[flashback:]
George: Here, let me help you with that. Okay.
Missy: [eats] Holy moly.
George: It's good, huh?
Missy: Unbelievable.
George: I'll leave you to it.
Missy: No, sit with me.
George: Okay.
[present:]
Missy: [crying] Thank you for that. Thank you for everything. [sniffles] I love you.

Sheldon: Is Mom okay?
George: How the heck should I know?
Missy: She left. You can say "hell."

Sheldon: While Dad's gone, I'm the man of the house, and the man of the house has to enforce the rules.
Missy: The man of the house is about to get his teeth knocked out.
Sheldon: Puberty's made you mean.
Missy: I need to know what happened on my show.
Sheldon: And you'll find out when your privileges are restored.
Missy: I can't wait that long, each episode builds on the last. Imagine a Star Trek that ends with "to be continued," and you don't get to continue.
Sheldon: That would never happen, because I follow the rules.
Missy: You are this close to a purple nurple.
Sheldon: [covers nipples] You leave my nurples alone.

Sheldon: Okay, your basic arithmetic skills are disappointing but functional.
Billy Sparks: Thank you.
Sheldon: All right, let's talk about negative numbers.
Billy Sparks: I'm all ear.
Sheldon: "Ears."
Billy Sparks: No. "Ear." This one's clogged.

Sheldon: Okay. Negative numbers are numbers that are less than zero.
Billy Sparks: But zero's nothing.
Sheldon: Yes.
Billy Sparks: So how can you have less than nothing?
Sheldon: Let's see. How about this? If you have a dollar, that's one. If you have no dollars, that's zero. But if you owe me a dollar, that's negative one. Does that make sense?
Billy Sparks: I think so.
Sheldon: All right, we're making progress.
Billy Sparks: Mom! I owe Sheldon a dollar.

Sheldon: All right, I'm given to understand you have a test coming up on negative numbers and fractions.
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
Sheldon: So, what part don't you understand? [Billy is silent] Oh, boy. Let's take it back a step. Where do you stand on addition, subtraction, multiplication and division?
Billy Sparks: I'm against it.
Sheldon: [exhales] [quietly] Oh, boy.