George: [knocks] You busy?
Sheldon: Yes, but I'm also excellent at bifurcating my cognitive abilities. Hit me.
George: [sighs] Billy is struggling with math, and, mm, his mom was hoping that you could tutor him.
Sheldon: I could.
George: Great.
Sheldon: But I won't.
George: Why not?
Sheldon: Because me teaching Billy is like trying to use the gravitational power of a neutron star to change the spin of a boson.
George: Don't do that. If he doesn't pass math, they're gonna hold him back.
Sheldon: That's the system working. Very Darwinian.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: "Ergo"?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Mary: Too bad. We are going.
Sheldon: Class is starting tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere.
Mary: Sheldon, do not argue with me. You are going home.
Sheldon: Mom, the people of Germany are obsessed with rules and devoid of humor. I am home.

Sheldon: Okay, your basic arithmetic skills are disappointing but functional.
Billy Sparks: Thank you.
Sheldon: All right, let's talk about negative numbers.
Billy Sparks: I'm all ear.
Sheldon: "Ears."
Billy Sparks: No. "Ear." This one's clogged.

Sheldon: Okay. Negative numbers are numbers that are less than zero.
Billy Sparks: But zero's nothing.
Sheldon: Yes.
Billy Sparks: So how can you have less than nothing?
Sheldon: Let's see. How about this? If you have a dollar, that's one. If you have no dollars, that's zero. But if you owe me a dollar, that's negative one. Does that make sense?
Billy Sparks: I think so.
Sheldon: All right, we're making progress.
Billy Sparks: Mom! I owe Sheldon a dollar.

Sheldon: All right, I'm given to understand you have a test coming up on negative numbers and fractions.
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
Sheldon: So, what part don't you understand? [Billy is silent] Oh, boy. Let's take it back a step. Where do you stand on addition, subtraction, multiplication and division?
Billy Sparks: I'm against it.
Sheldon: [exhales] [quietly] Oh, boy.