George Jr.: Why do you look like you're gonna cry?
Mandy: [cries] 'Cause I am.
George Jr.: What's wrong?
Mandy: My whole life. A year ago, I was a TV weather girl in San Antonio, and now I'm living in a garage with the 17-year-old who got me pregnant.
George Jr.: I'll be 18 before you know it.
Mandy: [crying] But not before you're a father!
George Jr.: Okay, well, what can I do?
Mandy: Nothing, you're doing great. That's how screwed up my life is right now, you're the best part of it.

Missy: Do you hate Georgie?
Mandy: No. No, Georgie's a good guy. If anything, I hate myself for making bad decisions.
Missy: Like having sex before marriage?
Mandy: More like having tequila before sex.
Mary: Hey. What's going on here?
Missy: Mandy was just telling me how she got pregnant.
Mandy: No, no...
Missy: But you said...
Mandy: No.
Missy: No.

Meemaw: Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
Mandy: That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
Meemaw: Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store, and I'm not real big on banks.
Mandy: Because you lived through the Depression?
Meemaw: Yeah. [insincere laugh]

George Jr.: All right, almost there.
Mandy: I don't know about this. The last surprise you got me is pressing on my bladder.

Meemaw: You looking for a new church?
Mary: Not yet.
Meemaw: 'Cause I can see you going Catholic. You got a "get thee to a nunnery" vibe.

Sheldon: Can you two help me with my homework?
George Sr.: Did I hear him right?
Missy: Yeah, he asked for help.
George Sr.: With his schoolwork?
Missy: Yep.
George Sr.: How long have you known him?
Missy: All my life.
George Sr.: Has he ever asked for help?
Missy: No.
Sheldon: Hello.

Sheldon: Good morning, everyone. Niblingo.
Mandy: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: It's an honorific I came up with to describe a woman who's carrying my future niece or nephew but is not related to me by law.
Missy: You remember Sheldon.
Mandy: I do.
Missy: [nods] Yeah.