Sheldon: We start on a gas giant in the vicinity of Rigel IV, then see a shuttlecraft, a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space. Inside the shuttlecraft, we see Lieutenant Worf struggling to breathe. [George realizes his bottle of beer is empty] He's been infected by a vicious intelligent fungus. [George gets up and walks towards the kitchen] Where are you going?
George: I'm listening.
Sheldon: Cough, cough. Worf is choking on spores, but not just your everyday spores, these are spores with their own evil agenda.
George: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: And, as he sinks into a coma, a mysterious figure in a spacesuit approaches. He lowers the visor of his helmet revealing...Future Worf. Are you hooked?
George: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: Main titles. Cue theme song and the soothing voice of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard says... [George is silent] "Space..." [George is still silent] "...the final frontier."
George: Who's Patrick Stewart?

Sheldon: Missy and I broke a lot of rules the other night, and we've received no punishment.
George: [sighs] Buddy, it's been a rough week. We're just glad you're both safe.
Sheldon: But in the absence of a divine being, society's rules are what keeps a person's morality in check.
George: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: No, y-you're not following me. If actions have no repercussions, society breaks down, everything devolves into chaos.
George: You might be overthinking this.
Sheldon: I thought so, too. Then I thought about it, and I'm not.
George: Sheldon, you had one bad night. Just let it go.
Sheldon: But... I did something wrong and I got away with it. That's not okay.
George: Buddy...
Sheldon: Socrates maintained that the man who lies to himself has an enemy living within. He's not even a person. He's just a chaos of selfish desires wrapped in an animal hide.

Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Meemaw: [on the phone] But I want to be clear, this is just one of those... Whatcha call it... Uh, platonic things. We're just having dinner.
Dr. Linkletter: I'll take it. Now, would you prefer a restaurant or some good home cooking? I make seven kinds of soup.
Meemaw: I think I'll just stick with a restaurant.
Dr. Linkletter: Fair enough, but one day, you'll try my mushroom barley, and your taste buds will swoon.
Meemaw: Good night, Grant. [starts to put down phone]
Dr. Linkletter: The secret is how long I cook the onions.

George: What are you doing here?
Meemaw: I ran out of beer at home, didn't feel like driving to the store.
George: Oh, so you just waltz in and help yourself?
Meemaw: 'Bout sums it up. [hands George a beer]
George: I'm changing the locks.
Meemaw: [laughs] Cheers.

Missy: We could let people punch you for a buck.
Sheldon: No, all our profit would just go to medical expenses.