Judge Landry: [enters] Son of a bitch. New shirt.
Meemaw: You give me some seltzer, I can get that right out.
Judge Landry: Shh.
Meemaw: Sorry.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Mary: Mom, can you make the salad?
Meemaw: Sure.
George Sr.: Hey, don't put in any of those little tomatoes.
Meemaw: Hey, I don't tell you how to impersonate a lump of clay. You don't tell me how to make a salad.

Mary: All right, what do you know?
George Sr.: Well, they're probably gonna have to pay some fine, and-and they're gonna need cash.
Mary: My son is gonna be in jail overnight?
George Sr.: What about your mother?
Mary: Oh, she's been there before.

Sheldon: Meemaw's in jail?
Mary: Uh... No.
George Sr.: Forget about it.
Sheldon: Forget about it? Do I need to remind you I remember my birth?
George Sr.: [grunts] Go to your room.
Sheldon: That was a rough day.
Mary: Rough day for me.

Sheldon: What is happening to our family?
Missy: I know. Georgie and Meemaw in jail.
Sheldon: Mom getting kicked out of the church.
Missy: Georgie having a baby out of wedlock. You know what this means, don't you?
Sheldon: What?
Missy: We really are white trash.
Sheldon: Speak for yourself. I'm in college on a full ride. But I wish y'all luck.