Professor Boucher: You wanted to see me, ma'am?
President Hagemeyer: Hello, Professor Boucher. Please, come in, have a seat.
Professor Boucher: I'd prefer to stand.
President Hagemeyer: Oh. All right, uh, then, I will also stand. [chuckles] You know what, um, these are really not standing shoes, so I'm just gonna sit. I was hoping that we could have a little chat about Sheldon Cooper. [Boucher is silent] I'll start. Sheldon is a very important asset to this university. And we like to keep that little fella happy. But it seems that your teaching methods are making him unhappy. You understand?
Professor Boucher: Yes, ma'am, I do.
President Hagemeyer: Great.
Professor Boucher: You'd like me to turn his frown upside down.
President Hagemeyer: You know, when you say it, it sounds more chilling than fun. I'm just saying that he's a sensitive kid, and you are... Well, whatever this vibe is.
Professor Boucher: I understand.
President Hagemeyer: Excellent, so you'll take it easy on him?
Professor Boucher: No. I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't do that.
President Hagemeyer: You see, uh... all these "ma'ams," they sound polite, but then I don't seem to be getting anywhere.
Professor Boucher: Well, that's because you're not.
President Hagemeyer: You do realize that I'm your boss?
Professor Boucher: Yes, ma'am, I do. And do you realize that I have tenure?
President Hagemeyer: Ugh, tenure. What fun is it being president if I can't threaten people's jobs?
Professor Boucher: May I get back to class now?
President Hagemeyer: Oh, fine. And fall off, or whatever it is.
Professor Boucher: It's "dismissed," ma'am.
President Hagemeyer: Just go. [Boucher laughs softly] I heard that giggle.

Dr. Linkletter: I cannot work with that creepy little know-it-all one more day.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, but are we talking about Sheldon or Sturgis?
Dr. Linkletter: Sturgis. Well, both, but mostly Sturgis.
[cut to:]
Dr. John Sturgis: He's not interested in anyone else's input.
President Hagemeyer: I-I'm sorry, Sheldon or Linkletter?
Dr. John Sturgis: Linkletter.
President Hagemeyer: Ah, got it. Continue.

Dr. John Sturgis: I was brought in to help but Dr. Linkletter doesn't value my input.
President Hagemeyer: Oh, I hear you. That must be tough.
[cut to:]
Dr. Linkletter: Ever since he was brought back, he contradicts everything I say.
President Hagemeyer: I hear you. That must be tough.
[cut to:]
Sheldon: There was a time when their arguing brought out the best in them, but now it's just hindering our work.
President Hagemeyer: I hear you. That must be tough.

President Hagemeyer: But I thought you wanted Dr. Sturgis on this project.
Dr. Linkletter: I'll admit John has been useful, but now he's just slowing us down.
President Hagemeyer: Well, he keeps Sheldon happy, and when Sheldon's happy, he's not in this office.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, but when he's not in your office, he's in my office.
President Hagemeyer: Eh, "dem's da breaks." [chuckles]

Adult Sheldon: Engineering has a rich and storied history, dating back to ancient times. Some consider it the single most important field of study... Okay, w-wha... no. Stop. I'm sorry. Howard, I can't do this.
Howard Wolowitz: You asked me to write you an introduction to engineering.
Adult Sheldon: Yes, and if I wanted a comedy routine, I'd have gone to Billy Crystal.
Howard Wolowitz: Just let me read it. [clears throat] Engineering has a rich and storied history dating back to ancient times. Some consider it the single most important field of study known to man, from the wheel to the International Space Station, which I went to.
Adult Sheldon: Honestly, this again?
Howard Wolowitz: Like we don't hear about your Nobel Prize all the time.
Adult Sheldon: It's not my fault people ask about it.
Howard Wolowitz: Because you're always wearing it! You have it on right now.
Adult Sheldon: Look how shiny it is.
Howard Wolowitz: [sighs] Just tell your story.

Howard Wolowitz: Wait, so after all this time, that's your problem with engineering?
Adult Sheldon: Evidently.
Howard Wolowitz: So all the teasing and all the abuse had nothing to do with me?
Adult Sheldon: I'll admit, at first, I had a chip on my shoulder because of that class, but then it was mostly you.
Howard Wolowitz: Unbelievable. When will I learn?
Adult Sheldon: I could give you that answer, but if you figure it out for yourself, it'll mean so much more.
Howard Wolowitz: Goodbye, Sheldon.
Adult Sheldon: Bye.

June: I got to admit, I'm a little jealous.
Meemaw: Of what?
June: You.
Meemaw: Why?
June: You have the Dale I never got. I spent a lot of time polishing that turd, and you get all the benefits.
Meemaw: Hey, I put my time in on that, too.
June: Not as much as me.
Meemaw: When I met him, he was a mess.
June: [laughs] You should've seen where I started.
Meemaw: Well, I think we can both agree, he is one lucky turd.
June: Amen, sister.