Mary: Excuse me? Pastor Rob. [exhales] I'm sorry if I came off a little strong back there.
Pastor Rob: Oh. Hey, you're just trying to do what's best for the kids. I respect that.
Mary: Thank you. And I just want you to know that I am very well-connected with the parents, so if I can be of any help there, please let me know.
Pastor Rob: Yeah, you know, actually, I try not to get too close to the parents. I-I just think it's important for the kids to feel like I'm on their side.
Mary: Okay.
Pastor Rob: Ooh, maybe we could do a, uh, "good cop, bad cop" sort of thing.
Mary: [chuckles] Why am I the bad cop?
Pastor Rob: Oh, I don't have all the answers. Maybe you should ask God. Really looking forward to working with you.

Mr. Givens: As long as I've been teaching here, we have never beaten Pineview.
Pastor Rob: Oh, well, I can't take credit for that. Gotta give it to the big guy.
Mr. Givens: George?
Pastor Rob: Oh, I meant the big guy upstairs, but yeah, him, too.

Pastor Rob: So, you'll do it?
Mary: Okay.
Pastor Rob: I'll tell Pastor Jeff. I like watching his face get all red when I mention S-E-X. [Mary chuckles] Hey, yours does, too. [Mary chuckles]

Mary: I think First Corinthians 7:2 is actually a pretty good place to start. "Each man should have relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband."
Pastor Rob: Yeah, I'm just not sure quoting scripture is the most exciting way to engage.
Mary: I was going more for guilt and fear.
Pastor Rob: Well, those are classics for a reason. I just think that if we make the fruit too forbidden, someone might want to sneak a bite.
Mary: They look up to you. If you say that abstinence is the way to go, they'll listen.
Pastor Rob: Well, abstinence is important. But I also believe in honesty, and abstinence wasn't my journey.
Mary: Oh. Well, that's none of my business.
Pastor Rob: That's okay. I'm not saying I'm proud of everything I've done, but, you know, I was young, the mustache was just coming in...
Mary: You could stop right there.
Pastor Rob: Look, all I'm saying is, I was a little wild, but it's all part of what led me to the Lord.
Mary: That is good to hear.

Missy: Do you believe in God?
Georgie: Yeah.
Missy: But in the Bible, he does all kinds of mean stuff. If he's good, why would he do that?
Georgie: Maybe he just wants to show he's in charge. Hulk Hogan's nice, but in the ring, he will mess you up.
Missy: That's either really smart or really stupid.
Georgie: That's what I do.
Missy: Do you ever wonder if it's all made-up?
Georgie: Look, this is Texas. We like football. We like God. And beef. Beef's up there, too.
Missy: But how do you know there's a God?
Georgie: See that girl dancing in them shorts? There's a God.

Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.

Mary: We're hiring a youth pastor.
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: To help get young kids excited about God.
Missy: The same God who lets babies get thrown in rivers?
Mary: What?
Sheldon: We covered Moses in Sunday school.
Mary: Oh. Well, that was Old Testament God. He gets more fun later.