[David Hasselhoff: Cowboy Aerobics:]
Cowgirl #1: All right, buckaroos, it's time for cowboy aerobics with...
Cowgirl #2: David Hasselhoff!
Cowgirl #1: David Hasselhoff!
David Hasselhoff: Who's ready to rustle up some muscles? [both whoo] Let's saddle up and ride.
Adult Sheldon: Thanks to The Hoff, the video was a smashing success.
David Hasselhoff: Who wants a beach body like the ones on Baywatch? Which I'm also in. Check your local listings.
Adult Sheldon: Unfortunately, Mr. Lundy put all his profits into a musical about his life, entitled: Live, Laugh, Lundy. He is poor to this day.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.

Adult Sheldon: My father didn't always get the credit he deserved. The advice he gave me actually worked out pretty well. Of course, I never told him.
George Sr.: Talked to Billy.
Missy: Why would you do that?
George Sr.: No, it was good.
Missy: Stay out of my life.
Adult Sheldon: He may not have been the world's greatest dad. But maybe we weren't the world's greatest kids.

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster.
For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that.
However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that.
Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that.
But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that.
Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that.
And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

George Jr.: What is this?
Meemaw: That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes.
George Jr.: I can't believe anyone pays money to watch old people sweat.
Missy: 40 bucks?
George Jr.: They sold over a million of those? At 40 bucks a pop? Do you know how much money that must be?
Missy: I'm not a calculator.
[later:]
George Jr.: 40 times... one million. That's 40 million!
Missy: Whoa.

Adult Sheldon: Behind every great scientist, there were often unsung helpers toiling away in the background. Presenting... "Great Lab Assistants in Scientific History" When Alexander Graham Bell needed an assistant, it was Thomas Augustus Watson who answered the call. [laughs] Get it? "The call". [snickers] Madame Curie's daughter Irène was also her lab assistant. Irène was so dedicated, she died of radiation poisoning. Unlike her sister Ève, who selfishly lived to 102. Lastly, Émile Roux was assistant to Louis Pasteur. When they worked on the rabies vaccine, Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab to shoot Pasteur in the head if he got infected. He never had to, but it's fun to know he would have.
Dr. Linkletter: No, Sheldon. You can't be my lab assistant.
Sheldon: Maybe you weren't paying attention. I'll start over. Behind every great scientist, there was a dedicated as...

Adult Sheldon: While not the lab work I hoped to be doing, it did feel good to be part of an actual experiment. A tedious, menial part that could be performed by a monkey. Or worse, an engineer.