George: Why the hell weren't you at practice?
Georgie: Can't talk right now. I'm working.
George: Well, you're gonna talk about it.
Georgie: What do you want from me? I don't want to play football. I want to work.
George: You have your whole life to hold down a job.
Georgie: Hey, I like my job. It's not my problem you hate yours.
George: ... Do whatever you want. [walks out]

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
Georgie: That was a big part of my defense.

Meemaw: Okay, I'm here. What's up?
George: Sheldon won't get out of bed, and I'm gonna be late for work. He's gonna be late for school.
Meemaw: So you want me to get him up and drive him?
George: Yeah.
Meemaw: I like it better when I just come eat your food and leave.

Meemaw: What's this philosophy teacher's name?
Sheldon: Professor Ericson. Why?
Meemaw: I might pop in and say hello.
Sheldon: Be careful. She may make you question your most deeply held values.
Meemaw: I'm a stubborn old crank. I'll do just fine.
Sheldon: I'm a stubborn young crank, and it didn't help me.

Meemaw: Shelly, Dr. Sturgis is on the line for you.
Sheldon: Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but very well. [takes phone] Hello?
Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] Hi, Sheldon. I hear you're going through some sort of existential crisis.
Sheldon: I suppose so. I just don't know if we can tell what's real or not. And if nothing's real, I don't know what to think or if I'm even thinking at all.
Dr. John Sturgis: I went through something similar once.
Sheldon: Really? What happened?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was trekking through the Amazon, and I saw two frogs, one hallucinogenic and the other not. [chuckles] I tried to lick the normal one, and, by mistake, I licked the hallucinogenic one. It really rocked my world.
Sheldon: Why would you lick either of them?
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm not sure. Probably low blood sugar. But the point is, I also lost track of reality.
Sheldon: How did you handle it?
Dr. John Sturgis: I saw a jaguar, and I realized I didn't care if it was real or not. I just hauled my tushy out of there.
Sheldon: I appreciate the call. I'm giving you back to my meemaw now.
Dr. John Sturgis: Bye!
Meemaw: [quietly on the phone] Hey, John, any luck?
Dr. John Sturgis: Not unless you have access to a jaguar.
Meemaw: I don't think I do.
Dr. John Sturgis: Really, any jungle cat will do.