Meemaw: Another way to cast on in knitting is called the slingshot.
Sheldon: Did you know the Wham-O company was named after its first product, the Wham-O Slingshot?
Meemaw: I'm the one saying the facts right now. Unless you're tired of hearing them?
Sheldon: Sick of learning? Never.
Meemaw: Well, that's too bad.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Adult Sheldon: Presenting... "Sheldon Cooper's Top Five Sources of News From My Childhood". Number five: Star Trek Fan Club Magazine.
Sheldon: Mom, DeForest Kelley's favorite episode is "The Empath."
Mary: Good to know.
Adult Sheldon: Number four: the Weather Cube from RadioShack.
Man: [from device] The humidity is 90% with a dew point of 79.5 degrees.
Sheldon: Mom! The dew point is 79.5 degrees.
Mary: [o.s.] Okay.
Adult Sheldon: Number three: The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour. Such a great theme song.
Sheldon: [hums] Buh-buh-bum.
Adult Sheldon: Number two: Meemaw after a few beers.
Meemaw: It took a while, but we finally picked a new name for my bowling team: The Ball Busters.
Sheldon: Hey, Mom. Guess what Meemaw named her bowling team? The Ball...
Adult Sheldon: And the number one source of news from my childhood: the bulletin board at the train store. News about trains in a store full of trains. Yummy.
Sheldon: How did this not make The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour?

George Jr.: So how many times have you seen Road House?
Mary: Sorry, can't hear you.
George Jr.: More or less than five? 'Cause that'show many times I've seen it.
Mary: That's how many years you're gonna be grounded if you don't drop it right now.
George Jr.: Does Dad know you like this movie?
Mary: [vacuum stops] No, and it is gonna stay that way.
George Jr.: Why?
Mary: Because it is not something I should be watching.
George Jr.: Then why are you watching it?
Mary: It is a guilty pleasure, so will you drop it now?
George Jr.: Relax. I ain't gonna tell nobody.
Mary: Thank you.
George Jr.: I think it's awesome you like it.
Mary: It is pretty cool how Dalton doesn't drive his Mercedes to the bar 'cause he knows they're gonna trash it.
George Jr.: Dalton's no dummy.
Mary: No, sir.

Mary: [eating pop corn] Get him, Dalton. Get him.
George Jr.: Mary Cooper, what are you doing?
Mary: Nothing.
George Jr.: Why are you watching Road House?
Mary: Why aren't you at work?
George Jr.: I asked you first, and my question is way more interesting.
Mary: It was just on. I don't even know what that is.
George Jr.: Then how'd you know his name's Dalton?
Mary: I don't have to explain myself to you.
George Jr.: This is a pretty dirty movie.
Mary: How do you know? It is rated R.
George Jr.: For violence, language and sexual content. You should be ashamed of yourself.