George Sr.: Nothing to be embarrassed about. It's perfectly natural. Perfectly normal.
Missy: Dad, I know.
George Sr.: I'm telling myself. Uh... How much money you need?
Missy: I'm not going in there. You are.
George Sr.: Why can't you go? It's embarrassing.
Missy: You just said it wasn't embarrassing.
George Sr.: Well, it is and I lied.

George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon: Why?
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.

Meemaw: I bowled a new high score last night.
George Sr.: Nice.
Meemaw: I got two turkeys.
Missy: What's a turkey?
Meemaw: It's three strikes in a row.
Missy: Why do they call it a turkey?
Meemaw: Well, when they first invented bowling, they used to just throw frozen turkeys at the pins. Eventually, they switched to balls to cut down on the smell.
George Sr.: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Adult Sheldon: Presenting... "Sheldon Cooper's Top Five Sources of News From My Childhood". Number five: Star Trek Fan Club Magazine.
Sheldon: Mom, DeForest Kelley's favorite episode is "The Empath."
Mary: Good to know.
Adult Sheldon: Number four: the Weather Cube from RadioShack.
Man: [from device] The humidity is 90% with a dew point of 79.5 degrees.
Sheldon: Mom! The dew point is 79.5 degrees.
Mary: [o.s.] Okay.
Adult Sheldon: Number three: The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour. Such a great theme song.
Sheldon: [hums] Buh-buh-bum.
Adult Sheldon: Number two: Meemaw after a few beers.
Meemaw: It took a while, but we finally picked a new name for my bowling team: The Ball Busters.
Sheldon: Hey, Mom. Guess what Meemaw named her bowling team? The Ball...
Adult Sheldon: And the number one source of news from my childhood: the bulletin board at the train store. News about trains in a store full of trains. Yummy.
Sheldon: How did this not make The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour?

George Jr.: So how many times have you seen Road House?
Mary: Sorry, can't hear you.
George Jr.: More or less than five? 'Cause that'show many times I've seen it.
Mary: That's how many years you're gonna be grounded if you don't drop it right now.
George Jr.: Does Dad know you like this movie?
Mary: [vacuum stops] No, and it is gonna stay that way.
George Jr.: Why?
Mary: Because it is not something I should be watching.
George Jr.: Then why are you watching it?
Mary: It is a guilty pleasure, so will you drop it now?
George Jr.: Relax. I ain't gonna tell nobody.
Mary: Thank you.
George Jr.: I think it's awesome you like it.
Mary: It is pretty cool how Dalton doesn't drive his Mercedes to the bar 'cause he knows they're gonna trash it.
George Jr.: Dalton's no dummy.
Mary: No, sir.

Mary: [eating pop corn] Get him, Dalton. Get him.
George Jr.: Mary Cooper, what are you doing?
Mary: Nothing.
George Jr.: Why are you watching Road House?
Mary: Why aren't you at work?
George Jr.: I asked you first, and my question is way more interesting.
Mary: It was just on. I don't even know what that is.
George Jr.: Then how'd you know his name's Dalton?
Mary: I don't have to explain myself to you.
George Jr.: This is a pretty dirty movie.
Mary: How do you know? It is rated R.
George Jr.: For violence, language and sexual content. You should be ashamed of yourself.