Coach Wilkins: All right, who's hotter... Cindy Crawford or Jessica Rabbit?
George: One's a person, one's a cartoon.
Coach Wilkins: And you couldn't get either one of 'em. Now answer the question.

Coach Wilkins: [supressing sobs] Just miss him, you know? [blows nose]
Mary: I do.
Coach Wilkins: I used to... I used to mess with him by telling him he was my best white friend, you know. But... but the truth is that he was my best friend.
Mary: And you were his.
Coach Wilkins: Oh, that's nice to know. I'm not helping, am I?
Mary: That's okay. Are you hungry? We've got lots of food.
Coach Wilkins: [blows his nose] Yeah, I-I could eat.
Mary: Hope you like casserole.
Coach Wilkins: I do like casserole.

Coach Wilkins: I cleaned out George's desk. Uh, thought you might like his stuff.
Mary: Thanks.
Coach Wilkins: I just wanted you to know that if there's anything that you or the kids need... [crying] I'm here for y'all.
Mary: Oh, Wayne.
Coach Wilkins: I mean it. Anything that you need.
Mary: Thank you. [hugs Wayne] I appreciate that. [Wayne sobs] You doing okay?
Coach Wilkins: Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me. [sobs]
Mary: Okay. Let me get you a tissue.

George: Great practice. Let's gather round, take a knee. All right, Coach. They're all yours.
Coach Wilkins: Thank you, George. Look at you guys. Young, strong, all your hopes and dreams in front of you. None of you have any idea of what's out there waiting for you.
George: Wayne, where you going with it?
Coach Wilkins: A team requires trust. Sure, you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped. But can you count on them when they're away at a teachers conference with the woman you were gonna spend your life with? Hmm?
George: Okay. "Team" on three.

Mary: So, George is mad at me, and Sheldon is mad at me, and... honestly, I'm mad at me, too.
Brenda Sparks: Will you please give yourself a break? All that you do for that family, I am surprised you didn't crack years ago.
Mary: How do you handle it all?
Brenda Sparks: I'm sitting in a chicken coop drinking a wine cooler at 11:00 a.m.... clearly, I don't.

[on the "Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College" tape:]
Ms. Ingram: Honestly... teaching Sheldon is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I don't say that because he can be a pain. I say that because he's so intelligent, I had to study every night just to keep up. I'm gonna miss him.

George: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I want to know why no one told me about this recruitment letter from Caltech.
George: Let me see that.
Mr. Givens: All right, let's get me drunk.
Sheldon: Hi, Mr. Givens.
Mr. Givens: Aw, come on!