Meemaw: So what's goin' on?
Missy: I think I have a boyfriend.
Meemaw: Wow.
Missy: But you cannot tell Mom.
Meemaw: Oh, of course... I love not telling your mother stuff.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

George Sr.: You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that.
Mary: I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy.
George Sr.: They're feelings everybody has. It's part of growing up.
Mary: I guess.
Sheldon: Poodle poop!
Meemaw: Okay. Somebody's got to teach this kid to swear, it's embarrassing.

Mary: Mr. Lundy? Come in. What brings you here?
Mr. Lundy: I'm the listing agent on the house next door.
Mary: But I thought you were a teacher and a...
Mr. Lundy: And an actor, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to get your son out of my open house.
Mary: Why, what's he doin'?
Mr. Lundy: Well...
[flashback montage:]
Sheldon: I noticed there's hair on your coat. Clearly yours is falling out, but do you also have pets?
Sheldon: I detect a hint of garlic. Do you enjoy cooking stinky foods or are you afraid of vampires?
Sheldon: Is there any chance you're just fat?
[present:]
Mary: Oh, dear, I'll go get him.
Mr. Lundy: Thank you. Kind of a dump. But I could sell it.

Meemaw: What's up?
Missy: Can I talk to you about serious woman stuff?
Meemaw: Of course. Is this a... iced tea conversation or a hot tea conversation?
Missy: Definitely hot.
Meemaw: Uh-oh.

Sheldon: There's no telling who could buy that house! What if they have dogs? What if they have birds? What if they have both and the birds learned to bark like dogs?
Mary: Sheldon, you're gettin' yourself all worked up.
Sheldon: For good reason... that house is six feet away from my bedroom window. Who knows what kind of smells could jump the gap? Uh, cigarette smoke, a scented candle, a durian?
Mary: What's a durian?
Sheldon: A vile-smelling fruit of the genus Durio.
Mary: When did you smell that?
Sheldon: I haven't, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Mary: It might be nice. It might be a family with kids your age.
Sheldon: I already live with a kid my age... not a fan!