Missy: Just pretend to be sick.
Sheldon: But that would be lying. I'm not a liar.
Missy: Well, you better be a swimmer. Or a drowner.

Mary: Missy, if you want a minute with Dad before they close the casket, now's the time. [Missy looks unsure] It's okay if you don't.
Mary: I have to. [Missy stands up and walks up to her father's casket]
[flashback:]
George: Here, let me help you with that. Okay.
Missy: [eats] Holy moly.
George: It's good, huh?
Missy: Unbelievable.
George: I'll leave you to it.
Missy: No, sit with me.
George: Okay.
[present:]
Missy: [crying] Thank you for that. Thank you for everything. [sniffles] I love you.

Sheldon: Is Mom okay?
George: How the heck should I know?
Missy: She left. You can say "hell."

Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Have you always been that way?
Missy: I guess so. I think when you're on your own a lot, you get good at seeing that kind of stuff.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: Really?
Missy: My dad does football with my older brother, so they're like a team. And my mom and meemaw spend all their time fussing over Sheldon, so they're like a team, too.
Dr. Sandra Thorpe: So no one's on your team?
Missy: Nope. It's just me.

Adult Sheldon: In many ways, a high school is like an academic house of horrors. There's the cafeteria, which when even freshly cleaned, maintains a subtle aroma of tater tots and throw-up. The schoolyard, where one is exposed to bullying by delinquents and attacks from above by eye-pecking demons. [bird tweets] But all of these pale in comparison to the most horrific location of all. A place teeming with the sweat and secretions from hundreds of unwashed bodies. The swimming pool.

Principal Petersen: Sorry, Sheldon. Water safety is a required part of your P.E. class.
Sheldon: But other kids use that pool. It's basically a big bowl of teenager soup.
Principal Petersen: It's out of my hands. It's a state requirement. If you don't like it, take it up with your congressman.
Sheldon: I did. He won't return my calls.
Principal Petersen: Then I guess you're swimming tomorrow. [manic laughter, thunder clap and lightning]
Adult Sheldon: Except for the laughter, the glowing eyes and the lightning, that's exactly how it happened.

Adult Sheldon: Observation is an important part of the scientific method. Darwin observed the finches, Jane Goodall observed the chimpanzees, and for some reason, Dr. Sturgis wanted to observe my meemaw's new suitor.