Sheldon Quote #630
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib
Sheldon: I'm being forced to swim tomorrow in P.E.
Missy: Poor baby. You have to play in a pool instead of sit in a classroom.
Sheldon: A pool of sweat, germs and dead skin cells.
Missy: Still better than learning.
Sheldon: Maybe it's time for me to run away from home and join a traveling math club.
Sheldon Quotes
Quote from the episode One Bad Night and Chaos of Selfish Desires
Sheldon: Missy and I broke a lot of rules the other night, and we've received no punishment.
George: [sighs] Buddy, it's been a rough week. We're just glad you're both safe.
Sheldon: But in the absence of a divine being, society's rules are what keeps a person's morality in check.
George: Well, there you go.
Sheldon: No, y-you're not following me. If actions have no repercussions, society breaks down, everything devolves into chaos.
George: You might be overthinking this.
Sheldon: I thought so, too. Then I thought about it, and I'm not.
George: Sheldon, you had one bad night. Just let it go.
Sheldon: But... I did something wrong and I got away with it. That's not okay.
George: Buddy...
Sheldon: Socrates maintained that the man who lies to himself has an enemy living within. He's not even a person. He's just a chaos of selfish desires wrapped in an animal hide.
Quote from the episode A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor
Sheldon: Unbelievable. It's either cartoons or men in their underwear banging their heads together.
Ricky: You complain a lot.
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Ricky: Seriously, dude, you need to relax.
Sheldon: How can I relax? I'm being held captive in a bacterial playground.
Quote from the episode A Tummy Ache and a Whale of a Metaphor
Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.
‘Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib’ Quotes
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: The following day, I returned to school. I had no choice but to fulfill my swimming requirement. Much like Batman, I suited up and faced my fears. Unlike Batman, I did it with a doggy-paddle across the shallow end of the pool. Uh, regarding pool sanitation, it turned out I was right. It was teeming with germs. Only I was the one who put them there. As it happens, my interaction with Billy Sparks did get me sick. I, in turn, created a small epidemic taking down 128 students, four teachers and one principal. It didn't stop there. I also infected my mother, father, sister, brother, Meemaw and Meemaw's friend Dale. The newly established boundaries of friendship helped keep Dr. Sturgis healthy. However, in an unrelated incident, he crashed his bike into some garbage cans. Luckily, he landed on his recently acquired athletic cup.
Dr. John Sturgis: That was a wise purchase.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Adult Sheldon: In many ways, a high school is like an academic house of horrors. There's the cafeteria, which when even freshly cleaned, maintains a subtle aroma of tater tots and throw-up. The schoolyard, where one is exposed to bullying by delinquents and attacks from above by eye-pecking demons. [bird tweets] But all of these pale in comparison to the most horrific location of all. A place teeming with the sweat and secretions from hundreds of unwashed bodies. The swimming pool.
Quote from Adult Sheldon
Principal Petersen: Sorry, Sheldon. Water safety is a required part of your P.E. class.
Sheldon: But other kids use that pool. It's basically a big bowl of teenager soup.
Principal Petersen: It's out of my hands. It's a state requirement. If you don't like it, take it up with your congressman.
Sheldon: I did. He won't return my calls.
Principal Petersen: Then I guess you're swimming tomorrow. [manic laughter, thunder clap and lightning]
Adult Sheldon: Except for the laughter, the glowing eyes and the lightning, that's exactly how it happened.