Peg Quote #2
Quote from Peg in the episode A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens
Mary: So that little Hanson girl, that was horrible, huh?
Peg: Yeah. Reminds you that life is precious. [Takes a drag on her cigarette, coughing loudly] You're up, slugger. [continues coughing]
Peg Quotes
Quote from the episode The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics
Mary: You are right. You have been here longer than me. I don't see why we can't work together.
Peg: That'd be nice.
Mary: Great. So, why don't you go by the bank, and I will drop off the bulletin?
Peg: So no one's gonna answer the phones?
Mary: Fine. You just sit there, and I'll go and do everything.
Peg: Sweet. Oh, today's a stumper. Is "nipto" a word?
Mary: You know what? This is why I was taking charge of everything. Because if I don't, nothing will get done.
Peg: Oh, it's "pinto". [laughs]
Mary: This is exactly what I'm talking about.
Peg: Guess what, Mary. Things were getting done long before you got here.
Mary: I just want everything taken care of for Pastor Jeff.
Peg: Or you just like thinking you're better than everybody.
Quote from the episode Seven Deadly Sins and a Small Carl Sagan
Pastor Jeff: As you can see, our last attempt at a Hell House may have been a tad traumatizing.
I thought it was a hoot.
Peg: Some of the little ones peed their pants.
Pastor Jeff: But that wasn't the goal.
Peg: A nine-year-old crapped himself.
Quote from the episode The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics
Pastor Jeff: Isn't he the cutest?
Mary: He sure is.
Peg: Oh.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah, he's an angel. He's just happy all the time... morning, afternoon, middle of the night, 2:00a.m., 3:00a.m., all the a.m.'s, really.
Peg: Dip the pacifier in some whiskey, put him right out. But don't use the good stuff. They can't tell the difference.
‘A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens’ Quotes
Quote from Sheldon
Mary: Sheldon, faith means believing in something you can't know for sure is real. And right now, I am struggling with that.
Sheldon: So you don't believe in God anymore?
Mary: That isn't something for you to worry about. I need to figure this out myself.
Sheldon: Can I help? Maybe I could provide a fresh perspective.
Mary: I don't think so, baby.
Sheldon: Did you know that if gravity were slightly more powerful, the universe would collapse into a ball?
Mary: I did not.
Sheldon: Also, if gravity were slightly less powerful, the universe would fly apart and there would be no stars or planets.
Mary: Where you going with this, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's just that gravity is precisely as strong as it needs to be. And if the ratio of the electromagnetic force to the strong force wasn't one percent, life wouldn't exist. What are the odds that would happen all by itself?
Mary: Why are you trying to convince me to believe in God? You don't believe in God.
Sheldon: I don't, but the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there's a creator.
Mary: Baby, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but logic is here. And my problem is here.
Sheldon: Well, there are 5 billion people on this planet and you're the perfect mom for me. What are the odds of that?
Quote from George Jr.
Georgie: Would you feel more confident if I told you I already know how to drive?
George: Video games don't count.
Georgie: I'll have you know I've driven Meemaw's car. I also drove your truck one night while you were sleeping.
George: Are you crazy?!
Georgie: I parked it and everything, you had no idea.
George: Okay, let let me get this straight. You're trying to prove to me that you're a responsible person by admitting you stole my truck.
Georgie: I said I was responsible, never said I was smart.
Quote from George Sr.
Sheldon: And then I said octopus aliens didn't need to become Christian because they're not affected by original sin.
Missy: You should've been there; Pastor Jeff almost started crying.
George: Oh, now I'm sorry I missed it.
Mary: That's your fault for having a hangover.
George: Or it's God's fault for putting Sunday morning after Saturday night.