Pastor Jeff: Let's give him a hand, everybody.
Missy: What's happening?
Meemaw: Shelly's gonna eat him alive. [chuckles]

Mary: You want me to cook those eggs for you, baby?
Missy: No. They're a gift.

Missy: He even wrote me a note. "Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy."

Meemaw: Don't worry! Meemaw's here! Everything's under control! Oh.
Sheldon: We haven't had dinner yet.
Meemaw: Really? (groans) I don't feel like cookin'.

Mary: Sorry about the "fat", honey.
George: You said you liked me this way.

Georgie: Hey. What's goin' on?
Missy: Dad's in the hospital.
Georgie: What? Why's Dad in the hospital?
Meemaw: He's gonna be fine.
Sheldon: He had chest pains.
Meemaw: He's gonna be fine.
Georgie: What are we doin'? Why aren't we going to the hospital?
Meemaw: Nobody's goin' nowhere. We're just gonna stay calm, have a nice dinner, and wait for your mama to call and tell us what's what.
Georgie: I'm not hungry.

Sheldon: What did you mean by "insurance purposes"?
Meemaw: Just eat.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Georgie: I'm driving to the hospital. You can come with me or stay here up to you.
Missy: I'm comin'.
Georgie: Sheldon?
Sheldon: You're 14. You don't know how to drive.
Georgie: I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. It's the same thing.
Sheldon: But you sat on the farmer's lap.
Georgie: Then stay here.

Meemaw: [reading Sheldon's note explaining George Jr. took her car and was driving them to the hospital] Son of a bitch. I hate those kids!

Mary: Why are they here?
Meemaw: I think it's obvious. They love their daddy.
Mary: No, I get that. Why aren't they home in bed?
Meemaw: Well, nobody could sleep. I thought it was the right thing.

Sheldon: I need to wash my hands. There are germs here that can kill you.

Adult Sheldon: For a brief moment, I was filled with the healing power of faith. Then the next day, we all got violently ill from Billy Sparks' eggs, and I was over it.

Georgie: [after hitting more trash cans] Dang it!
Missy: Are you aiming for them?

Missy: [running through the kitchen] I ate so much candy!
Meemaw: [gets up to leave] Okay. They're all yours.

Georgie: [to Sheldon] Shh.
Sheldon: [to Missy] Shh.
Missy: Who do I shush?
Georgie: Shh!
Sheldon: Shh!