George Sr.: Son of a bitch! Here! Edgar! Or Allan. Whichever the hell one you are.

Meemaw: So you think he's seeing somebody else?
George Jr.: I don't think I should be talking about this. He's my boss.
Meemaw: Well, he's my boyfriend, so spill it.
George Jr.: It's weird when old people say "boyfriend".
Meemaw: Fine. My lover.
George Jr.: Well, that's worse.

George Sr.: You comfortable? Can I get you anything else?
Ms. Hutchins: No. I-I'm okay. You've been so kind to welcome me into your home.
George Sr.: Well, it's the least we could do.
Ms. Hutchins: It's so nice to be around a family like this. [crying] I've been alone for... so long. Honestly, if it weren't for the cats, I'd have no one. Oh, wait. The cats! I abandoned Edgar and Allan.
George Sr.: Edgar and Allan?
Ms. Hutchins: Poe ran away. Would you please go feed them and tell them I love them?
George Sr.: Uh... any chance this could wait till morning?
Ms. Hutchins: [crying] I guess.

George Sr.: It's time for your pain pill.
Sheldon: Be careful. You could become addicted and lose your job. Which is all you have.
George Sr.: [sighs] Get out of here.

Sheldon: If I don't go to college, what am I supposed to do? Spend all my days in high school? How sad is that?
Ms. Hutchins: Pretty sad.
Sheldon: You always did get me.
Ms. Hutchins: Sounds like you're feeling misunderstood.
Sheldon: I am... by Dr. Sturgis, my mother, and possibly the entire Vietnamese culture.
Ms. Hutchins: Do you understand that I'm in a little bit of pain right now?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. I should be exhibiting compassion. Aw. Wait, I can do better. Aw.
Ms. Hutchins: Nailed it.

George Jr.: It's just, I've been seeing Jana for a while now, and I like her fine... but it feels like she's getting more serious than I want to be.
Meemaw: Georgie, until you're married, you are not tied down to anybody. You just go ahead and do whatever you want. Play the field. Have some fun.
George Jr.: Interesting. That's what Dale said, too.
Meemaw: Oh, did he?
George Jr.: Yeah.
Meemaw: My boyfriend?
George Jr.: [chuckles] Yeah.

George Jr.: Can I ask you a personal question?
Meemaw: You're not in my will.

George Jr.: Who buys this crap?
Meemaw: Me, after three beers. I mean, look at this damn thing. What was I thinking? [chuckles]

Missy: So, when your bones broke, did you hear a crunch?
Ms. Hutchins: No.
Missy: Did my dad have to give you mouth-to-mouth?
Ms. Hutchins: No.
Missy: I don't know how my mom kisses him.

George Jr.: So you just put her in my room without consulting me?
George Sr.: Consulting you? Who cares what you think?
George Jr.: Well, I ain't gonna sleep on the couch.
Mary: It's just for a few nights until she can take care of herself.
George Jr.: Can I at least stay at Meemaw's?
George Sr.: If you promise not to come back.
George Jr.: Why you got to be so mean to me?
George Sr.: It just feels right.

George Sr.: Okay, fine. But that was pure instinct. Besides, she shouldn't have been standing on the sidelines.
Coach Wilkins: Why was she there?
George Sr.: I told her she could.
Coach Wilkins: [laughing] Oh, man, you must feel terrible.
George Sr.: Yeah, of course I do.
Coach Wilkins: I mean, it's all on you.
George Sr.: You done?
Coach Wilkins: Oh-ho-ho, baby, I'm just getting started.

Coach Wilkins: How's she doing?
George Sr.: Well, not bad. Could be worse. A little whiplash, couple of bruised ribs, broken arm... and collarbone. But that's it.
Coach Wilkins: Pretty funny how you jumped out of the way and let her get clobbered.
George Sr.: I did not jump out of the way!
Coach Wilkins: Oh, yeah, you did. [chuckles] They got you on tape.

Mary: [on the phone] Well, you can't bring her home to an empty apartment. Bring her here, and we'll look after her until she's back on her feet.
George Sr.: You sure?
Mary: Of course. We'll set her up in Georgie's room.
George Sr.: Thanks, Mare. See you in a bit.
Mary: Hey, George. It's real nice of you, taking care of her like this.
George Sr.: Well, it was kinda my fault.
Mary: Kinda? It was all your fault.
George Sr.: Bye.

Sheldon: And then my mother said I wasn't mature enough for college. Can you believe that?
Tam: Absolutely.
Sheldon: So you're on their side, too?
Tam: I'm Vietnamese. In my culture, until your parents die, you're basically a baby.
Sheldon: Really?
Tam: My grandmother still treats my dad like a child. At dinner, he can't sit until she sits, and he can't speak until he's spoken to.
Sheldon: Well, I'm glad I'm not Vietnamese.
Tam: It's not as fun as I make it look.

George Sr.: Hang in there.
Ms. Hutchins: I'm hangin'.
George Sr.: Hey, this will be quite a story to tell your grandkids, huh?
Ms. Hutchins: I live alone. I'm single. I don't think grandkids are in the picture.
George Sr.: Oh. Well, I... I got a wife, kids. It's... It's overrated.

Meemaw: Moon Pie, I know you don't like to hear this, but there are some things in life that can only be learned in time.
Sheldon: So you must have learned them all, huh?
Meemaw: Get out of my house.

Sheldon: And who says you have to be mature to go to college? I've seen Animal House.
Meemaw: You have?
Sheldon: Well, I've seen the poster. Those people are not college material.

George Sr.: Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Ms. Hutchins: I don't think so.
George Sr.: [to Coach Wilkins] Call an ambulance. [to Ms. Hutchins] Don't worry, we're gonna get you taken care of.
Ms. Hutchins: If I die, tell my therapist I hate him.

Ms. Hutchins: I was hoping I'd have someone to sit with.
George Sr.: Ah, sorry.
Ms. Hutchins: That's okay. It was my fault for letting myself feel hope.
George Sr.: You're welcome to watch from the sidelines.
Ms. Hutchins: Thanks. Watching life go by from the sidelines is kind of my thing.

Ms. Hutchins: Hi, George.
George Sr.: Oh, hey, Ms. Hutchins. I don't think I've ever seen you at a game before.
Ms. Hutchins: Well, uh, it's Friday, and I promised my therapist I'd try one new thing a week.
George Sr.: And you picked football. Good for you.
Ms. Hutchins: I don't suppose Sheldon's here?
George Sr.: Nah, he doesn't much care for outdoor sports. Or sports. Or the outdoors.