Mary: Why aren't you eating?
Sheldon: I don't think I can.
George Sr.: Sometimes the different foods touch each other, Sheldon. Not the end of the world.

Mary: What'd you say?
Meemaw: I said I'd have to think about it.
George Sr.: What's to think about?
Meemaw: Well, a lot. I mean, assuming he enjoys dinner, he might want a scoop of Meemaw for dessert.
Mary: Mom, the kids.
Meemaw: I said "dessert." Did you know I was talking about sex?
Sheldon: No.
Meemaw: See?

Meemaw: Well, here's something nice. You know that Mr. Rosenbloom with the furniture store over by the steakhouse?
Mary: I don't think so.
Meemaw: Oh, sure you do. That Hebrew fella with the comb-over?
Mary: You mean Jewish?
Meemaw: I think they like to be called Hebrew. Anyway, he's asked me to dinner.

Sheldon: Mm, no, thank you. I'm not hungry.
Tam: "I'm not hungry." The three words you never hear in Vietnam.

Tam: What's the matter?
Sheldon: I-I don't think I can eat this.
Tam: You want to trade? My mom made me fish soup again. How long do we have to be in this country before I get baloney?

Sheldon: You're reading a comic book.
Tam: I am.
Sheldon: You do understand those are for children.
Tam: Have you ever read one?
Sheldon: I outgrew picture books when I was three.
Tam: Just eat your lunch.

Sheldon: You're sitting in my spot.
Tam: Why is it your spot?
Sheldon: It's complicated. Just move.

Sheldon: I'm sorry I'm late. I have a note.
Ms. MacElroy: You poor thing, you had a medical emergency?
Sheldon: Yes, ma'am. I choked on a sausage. [laughter]
Boy: How big was it?
Sheldon: About yay big. [laughter]
Adult Sheldon: To this day, I still don't understand why they were laughing.

Ms. MacElroy: Remember, the food drive ends Friday. All canned goods are welcome. But please make sure your cans have labels. Needy people have enough problems without having to guess what's for dinner.

Missy: I came this close to having my own room.

Sheldon: Mom, would you write a note for me?
Mary: Sure.
Missy: You have the coolest excuse. You almost died. Did you see Jesus?
Sheldon: I saw Count Chocula. But feel free to mention my brush with death in the note.

Sheldon: I've never been late to school before.
Missy: I'm late all the time. It's no big deal.
Mary: I get you to school on time every day. Why are you late?
Missy: I have a lot of people to say hi to in the morning.

Adult Sheldon: They say, in the final moments, your life passes before your eyes. All I saw was my brother licking jelly off the knife and putting it back in the jar. [Sheldon coughs up the sausage]
Mary: Okay, it's better now. Sheldon, honey, are you okay? Can you breathe? Say something!
Sheldon: You have to throw away that jelly.

Adult Sheldon: And what about Count Chocula? How is he a count? Did the title come with land?

Adult Sheldon: It's interesting the things you think about when life is ebbing from your body. For instance, linoleum. What is it, really? Plastic? And if so, how is it different from Formica?

Adult Sheldon: To further complicate matters, in any real-life crisis, my family's default mode is mindless panic.
Missy: Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die!

Adult Sheldon: In fairness to Mr. Dean, this one morning, I decided to forgo my normal 20 chews per bite, as prescribed by the American Medical Association.

Adult Sheldon: Fun fact the first time I almost died was at the age of nine. The murder weapon? A Jimmy Dean sausage.

Pastor Jeff: Because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon: Was the word "kaboom"?

George Sr.: If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.
Mary: That's a terrible thing to say.