Pastor Jeff: Yes, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You said he didn't create the sun until day four.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
Sheldon: So how could there be light the first three days?
Pastor Jeff: God is light.
Sheldon: So God's a photon?
Pastor Jeff: God's what made photons possible.
Sheldon: And what day did he do that?
Pastor Jeff: I would think day one.

Pastor Jeff: I thought I'd talk this morning about how it all began. Now, everybody knows how, on the first day of creation, God said, "Let there be light." And there was light. And when God saw that light, he knew it was good.
*Sheldon raises his hand*
Meemaw: Oh, here we go.

Adult Sheldon: For a brief moment, I was filled with the healing power of faith. Then the next day, we all got violently ill from Billy Sparks' eggs, and I was over it.

George Jr.: What's taking so long?
Meemaw: Shh. Keep your voice down, car thief.
George Jr.: I didn't steal your car, I just borrowed it.
Meemaw: You're gonna need to make bail someday. Do not come to me.

Adult Sheldon: Despite what it looks like, I didn't pray to God that night. I prayed to Blaise Pascal. My thinking was, if he was right about the existence of God, then he could pass along my request for my dad to get better. If he was wrong - well in this moment, I needed him to be right.

Meemaw: Hold up. Now, y'all like it when your meemaw babysits. Poker, candy, firecrackers.
Sheldon: Yes.
Missy: Yeah.
Meemaw: Well, if your mother ever finds out what you did tonight, that is never gonna happen again.
Sheldon: I can't lie to my mother.
Meemaw: Sure you can. Believe in yourself!

Sheldon: I need to wash my hands. There are germs here that can kill you.

Meemaw: Georgie. Give me my damn keys.
George Jr.: Oh, yeah. Here.
Meemaw: Thank you. How did I beat you here?
Missy: We kept hitting garbage cans.
Meemaw: Oh God.

Sheldon: Good bluff.
Meemaw: Shh.

Mary: Why are they here?
Meemaw: I think it's obvious. They love their daddy.
Mary: No, I get that. Why aren't they home in bed?
Meemaw: Well, nobody could sleep. I thought it was the right thing.

Sheldon: Mom!
Meemaw: Ah. There they are!
Mary: Hey. Oh.
Meemaw: Ha! I lost the little rascals in the hall.

Meemaw: Mary.
Mary: Mom!
Meemaw: Where are they?
Mary: Where's who?
Meemaw: (calming tone) More importantly - how is George?

Missy: How about I put the radio on real low?
George Jr.: Shut up.

Sheldon: Oh, you better pull over.
George Jr.: Oh, thank God.
Sheldon: Well, don't just sit there follow it.
George Jr.: Why?
Sheldon: It's an ambulance It's going to the hospital.

Sheldon: We're going to jail.
Missy: Georgie's going to jail. I'm saying I was kidnapped.
Sheldon: That's a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.
George Jr.: If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail.

George Jr.: [after hitting more trash cans] Dang it!
Missy: Are you aiming for them?

Sheldon: Why don't we ask somebody for directions?
George Jr.: Because we're children in a car, genius.

Missy: Just admit it, we're lost.
George Jr.: We're not lost.
Missy: Well, I sure don't see a hospital anywhere.

Meemaw: [reading Sheldon's note explaining George Jr. took her car and was driving them to the hospital] Son of a bitch. I hate those kids!

Mary: How are the kids?
Meemaw: Oh. (chuckles)They were a little worried, but I handled it.
Mary: They sleepin'?
Meemaw: Um Yeah, yeah. You bet.
Mary: Thanks again for helpin'.
Meemaw: Oh, hey, these are my grandchildren. They are my blood.